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Feb 13, 06
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husband....i am choked! like wtf....seriously.....this is not grade 7
i understand ppl need time....but you dont just throw ppl out of your lives....not if you say you love them....you stick it out till thigns get better that kid was not only my ex but my best friend and now im out a bf and a best friend today sucks 
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Feb 13, 06
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I think the expectation that you have to be friends after a relationship is unrealistic.
You think it's easy for someone just to have their feelings fade away and move comfortably in the friend zone after a relationship? That's probably impossible, and it's better that he's being honest rather than trying to fake a friendship he isn't capable of. Give it time, maybe in the future when feelings aren't as strong you can be friends.
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Feb 13, 06
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two years as in you dated for two years, or as in you broke up two years ago? if it's the former, just give it some time and he'll get over it. if it's the latter, then he's a lost cause, so move on and make a new best friend.
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Feb 13, 06
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Time heals all wounds... Some just need more time than others.
Don't get mad... learn to be patient. Put yourself in his shoes... How would you feel if he got mad at you if you needed more time? Don't push him and hopefully he'll come around one day.
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Feb 14, 06
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Feb 15, 06
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aww sorry to hear that Kat.......My gf also broke up with me about a couple weeks ago and we decided to stay friends. But i gotta tell you its weird, cause i still have the same feelings for her as i did before, but she doesnt feel the same way about me anymore. Right now it seems like a good idea to be friends because i dont wanna lose a best friend, but its just asking to keep getting hurt over and over again especially when she starts to see someone else.
Be patient, let him think about things and dont bug him because that will just make things worse. Hopefully he'll come around soon because i agree losing a best friend like that is worse then losing a bf/gf.
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Feb 15, 06
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When my last ex and I broke up, we said we were gonna keep on the friendship tip.
That was the last time I spoke with her directly. The amount of interaction we had after that was a phone call in which she informed me she had a new boyfriend, and an IRC conversation where she decided to get pissed off at me and never talk to me again. Hein. Sucks, particularily after 2 and a half years of a relationship. But totally not my problem anymore.
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Feb 15, 06
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Feb 22, 06
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I have never remained friends with ex's .. Its just too awkward. Even if they were my best friend at the time.
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Feb 22, 06
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Totaly feel your pain, hurts really bad. And because it hurts so much... youll probly not want to be friends anyways. Dont worry though, youll get over it and probly not even care about it anymore... trust me.
However when I think about it... sadly it is hard to stay friends with most ex's. It just becomes akward and kind of brings back the past. Gust... how do you do it? Ive always been open to it, but it never seems to work?
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Feb 23, 06
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this sounds like a "move on" situation to me
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Feb 23, 06
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Feb 23, 06
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me and my gf of 4.5 years split around 2 weeks ago
and even though i love her to death (still do) and she was my best friend.. i told her i can't be her friend too.. at least not for 4-5 months... i need time to get over her, and i imagine your bf needs the same thing
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Mar 24, 06
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You cannot go from boyfriend/girlfriend to best friends over night -- SOmeone will have their feelings crushed.
Usually a break upp is initiated by somenoe one, and that one person has already decided to be happy as a friend rather than a lover. Often it is this same person who is shocked to find their new ex isn't ready for that. Nor should they be, if there are genuine feelings of love involved that doesn't just switch off and become 'friendship' just because you want it to. He is going to need time to be himself without you and that might take all kinds of years Don't be so selfish to assume that your feelings are the only ones to be concerned with. He's expressed what he needs and you should respect that.
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Mar 24, 06
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^^ It's kinda interesting because in my last breakup it happened opposite... she initiated the breakup but then got all resented with me shortly thereafter over something really insignificant...
Funny thing is, given what you said, it gives me a new theory as to what happened. That being that she didn't really wanna break up, just wanted to test the relationship and see if it could survive or some shit like that. Smart girl if that's what she did, though I abhor mind games... but considering she never really played those with me beforehand, I suppose I can let her off with that one... That and I really don't care much about her anymore and I've already taken the stance that if she wants to be pissed off with me, her problem not mine.
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Mar 28, 06
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I've contemplated this idea of remaining friends with ex's and I just can't rationalize it a lot of the time. The only time I can remain friends with an ex is if it either wasn't serious or I initiated the breakup and they want to remain friends for the sake of one day hopefully rekindling our romance. It isn't fair to either, most breakups are not mutual but if you can find that happy balance and you both decide it's for the best there may be that hope of still salvaging some sort of friendship. He clearly isn't ready and you can't just try to hold on to something where the other persons feelings are still so deliberately involved. There's usually one person who still goes on with 'wishful thinking' and remaining friends only reminds them of what they're not capable of having. So if you care about him, and what you had you'll let go and hope that one day when feelings have subsided you'll be able to remain on some sort of civil ground.
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