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May 25, 06
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Ladies. Why do you enjoy torturing your ex?
Broken hearts happen. It is a fact of life. If you can't handle it then dont "play the game". What I am wondering however, is why is breaking hearts not good enough for some? Why must you rip it out, stomp on it, and then tear it into little pieces to use as confetti?
The sparratic phone calls once or twice a month. The Seemingly innocent "Hello, how are you"'s on MSN, where you then launch into how great your new b/f is or whatever else could be said in order to make somone that you claim you used to "love" feel like shit. Do you like the idea of somone hurting over you? Or maybe its just that you want to make sure that they are thinking of you on some level? Is it some desire to reconciliate and try again, but you can only articulate it through mockery and spite? Do you want us to hate you? I gave my heart and soul, as well as 4 years of my life to a woman that I loved. I am not complaining, and I would not trade the time we had together for anything. Even though they were the hardest times of my life. No matter how hard I try to hate her, I can't. She even messaged me once to tell me that she thinks she is falling for her new b/f. Why the fuck would I want to know about that? I digress. This is not an attack on women by any means, or on relationships in general. I would just like to hear what the ladies have to say on this matter. 
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May 25, 06
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some women are bitter and cruel and they don't know when to stop...i honestly don't know why some people love to flaunt their new love...i duno maybe its because they still have feelings for you and want you to show it?
I have never thought a "good way" to get back at my ex or someone that i use to like was to flaunt my new boyfriend or whatever in their faces.... Some girls are spiteful and they do it just to get the attention im sorry it happened to you i know how it feels, my ex boyfriend did this to me...so its not always the ladies it sometimes guys that do it on purpose as well.
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May 25, 06
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Well there's a reason she's an Ex. You don't have to talk to her if she's going to be a Bitch. Carry on, find someone hotter and better. That'd really piss her off.
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May 25, 06
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or this is also a good option :) however u are just lowing urself to her level and to show that u are over her and don't care just brush it off its like a bully if they know they are bugging you they are going to keep doing it...if u dont show that it bugs you then they will get bored and in this case relize that you dont really care and that u have moved on
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May 25, 06
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I think Val said it best once... The best way to get over someone is get under someone. lolololol
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May 25, 06
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after that length of time I think there's like this unspoken competition between exes, and that is who can move on faster and find a good rebound to make the other jealous. I wouldn't say this behaivor is really unique to females because I've been on the recieving end of this before and it does suck.
Anyways, if someone has to go out of their way to tell you all about just how wonderful thier new sig other is then they're not really over you. That's probably obvious though.
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May 25, 06
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I know what I have to do. I need to get her phone number blocked by my cellular provider, put her on my ignore list, and not speak or communicate with her. It's like I want to keep the lines of communication open, like I'm waiting for somthing good to come from our correspondance... which is kind of like waiting for Osama and Bush to slow dance together. :P
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May 25, 06
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^thats the best thing you can do.Cut all ties,completely.
Thats what I had to do with my ex because he put me through the same torment as your ex subjected you to. And it really sucks.Its always kinda nice to be on a civil communication level with ex`s just to check up on them and see how theyre doing.But some people are just so filled with malice that it makes it virtually impossible for one to keep in contact with them. Quote:
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May 25, 06
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I think that cutting all ties is a bit childish.. People can be friends after they are broken up it just takes a bit to be mature enough to do so. sure it might hurt now because she has a new guy, but youll find one soon enough and then you guys can all be friends im sure. I know it hurts when they rub it in your face, Im sure she isn't meaning to, you probly ment alot to her as a friend and she wants to tell you about the things going on in her life right now. It's a hard situation, pull through it and dont be such a pussy.
ps.. sex with a whole bunch of people isnt going to solve your problems, it will make you more miserable then you already are.
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May 25, 06
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^^ Point taken.
BUT I know for a fact that it is either all or nothing when it come to LOVE. You're either IN or OUT. The fact that one could expect the other to simply be OK with hearing about their new lovelife etc. is absurd. There is no reason to tell your ex these things, ESPCIALLY when you know there are still feelings, no matter how small. This type of behavior is caused by one of two things: you miss the person but dont want to, and try to convince yourself that you are happy with Mr. NEW... or... you are a cold hearted bitch and if karma exists, you will get yours 10 fold.
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May 25, 06
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Point was obivously NOT taken.. once again ..
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My ex tells me these things to, and yeah I get mad about it and tell him NOT to tell me, but its cause we were really good friends and told eachother everything, just remind her that it hurts and im sure she will try to stop.
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May 25, 06
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I've told you before, Heffy, you need to seperate yourself completely. It doesn't have to be forever...look at how close me and my ex are. But that was only after spending 2 years apart with minimal contact as we developed our own lives, got over all the stupid bullshit, grew up a little, took care of ourselves, made new friends, etc. You are just trapping yourself in a negative cycle. You can't heal when the wounds keep getting ripped open every week!
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May 25, 06
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im sure shes not the cold heartless bitch he makes her out to be, she just moved on a bit quicker. Love sucks.. I try and stay away, relationships are pointless untill your ready to settle down for good.
I agree though, in his situation, he does seem to take some time away to mature and get his shit together if all else fails, which seems to have happend. Your last point is a really good one too. But I guess to each her own. :)
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May 25, 06
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Well, there's two sides to every story (which you don't really know either of in this situation!), but telling him they should keep in contact when it's obviously bothering him alot is irresponsible advice. He should be concerned about his own happiness, not making nice with some chick who hurts him at every given opportunity.
Last edited by prozac; May 25, 06 at 02:57 PM.
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May 25, 06
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Well if someone was that childish and couldn't talk to me after we had been together for 4 years I wouldn't really want to give him a chance after that. Your supposed to learn from relationships, not be bitter and cold. But once again, your right he does need time to grow and mature.
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May 25, 06
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yeah but when it's still so fresh? alot goes on in a breakup, and have you paused to think perhaps she doesn't deserve his time and care? perhaps it's her who's being childish in expecting him to carry on like buddies after all that's happenned between them? you can't just go "oh, we're broken up now, all done, let's be best friends!"
how can you learn and heal when you're rubbing salt in the wounds? and he may be a little emotional right now, but I'm not digging how you keep mentioning HE's the only one who needs to mature.
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May 25, 06
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I am trying to look at it from both sides, and from what I see, she has a new guy and hes upset over it. your right MAYBE she is being childish, MAYBE she needs to mature too. But just trying to give him a little insight from my experiance, which is that cutting off contact isn't always the best idea, though there seems to be no convincing for you haha, So I'll stop trying.. good luck heiffy
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May 25, 06
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its just becuase there is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much more to this situation than her just having a new guy. she has been doing some pretty harsh shit, and coldly emotionally manipulating him on a weekly basis.
i'm trying not to say too much out of respect for his privacy, but you cannot see anything remotely close to both sides of this story. that's why there's no convincing me....in this case, you're wrong. edit:on the re-read this sounded very bitchy. I just wanted to make sure you know I'm not attacking you, just disagreeing. :) Last edited by prozac; May 25, 06 at 03:12 PM.
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May 25, 06
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Breakups suck. I am not bitching about my "hurt feelings". I actually started this thread so that I could try and figure out what would motivate somone to be so callous and cruel as to go out of their way to cause pain to somone they love, or at least claimed to have loved at one point.
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May 25, 06
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"loves an excuse to get hurt.. and to hurt.. so hurt me"- bright eyes.
Shes still attatched to you: love turns to manipulation she hurts you to keep you under control. Ive done it, and had it done to me: if your still heartbroken about her, shes still in your mind. thats what I felt I was doing at the time I did stuff like that. its just away to stay a key factor in your life /my input anyways
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May 25, 06
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My ex called me on it. "if you want to still be in my life, I will love you like a friend. but its over. and when you do things like (such and such) it makes me angry. and If you keep doing it, We cant even be friends" Then i was so afraid of losing him. I stopped being a bitchy brat. we became friends.
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