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| Punching Bag Bitch, cry and whine your way into oblivion. |
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Jul 18, 03
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^ yes. there you go.
i do not agree with ultimatums...but this is different. she's trying to prevent you from doing something that she knows isn't healthy...and maybe she wants you to know that you don't HAVE to do drugs to have a good time...? there is alot about this situation we don't know...so it's hard for us to really try to give some "advice" or suggestions... but i also think it says something that she would leave you if you did do E this once... [do you do e or other drugs often?] 
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Jul 18, 03
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If you do drugs recreationally once and a while and it does not impact on the relationship then there should be a bit of a compromise by each other.
Relationships are a give and take type situation. However, if you are more heavy into the use of the drugs then see my previous statement.
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Jul 18, 03
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I dont think I'd be cool with it either.
Coming from a girls perspective here. I think it's more that she feels threatned about the possibility of you getting fucking ripped and then making out with some other girl. It happens. Do you have the self restraint to stop it when you're on E? It sounds like a generalization but alot of people dont.
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Jul 18, 03
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Man dont take that shit! if she dumps you just for doing that then is she really worth that much? Thats bullshit. and If you give in to her that gives her ammo to Pussy whip you...and then she will have control over you. I'm sure u two could work something out..but dont just give in tottally
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Jul 18, 03
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ul·ti·ma·tum ( P ) Pronunciation Key (lt-mtm, -mä-)
n. pl. ul·ti·ma·tums or ul·ti·ma·ta (-t) 1. A final statement of terms made by one party to another. 2. A statement, especially in diplomatic negotiations, that expresses or implies the threat of serious penalties if the terms are not accepted. don't think that there's much room for "working out" there :p anyways, I hope you make the choice that is best for you.
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Jul 18, 03
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^^^ So if you found an understanding g/f that accepted you for who you are and what you do you would dump her.
Nice.
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Jul 18, 03
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You know what I would do ( cause I know you all care)
go have fun do whatever you want go back and tell her about it she'll get mad you'll apologise (meaning it is optional) she'll threaten some more tell her you couldn't live without her (sqeezing out some tears here would be great) she'll forgive you and take you back and with about 1 hour of damage control you'll have had your cake and ate it too
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Jul 18, 03
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Chet... you aren't in management are you?
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Jul 18, 03
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ultimatums are rough...
i'd say go for it, though. if she doesn't break up with you, then she'll at least know that you are a free thinker, and that she'll have to compromise with you. if she does break up with you, then you've saved yourself an unhealthy relationship of guilt trips, nagging, and even more ultimatums. it's a win-win situation. plus you get to do e. *ducks*
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Jul 18, 03
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I don't know dude.
It's always up to you...but at the same time its up to her. If you want to be 40 and doing E and Have a GF or wife that loves you for who your are. dump the broad your with and then go find the one you want....If these are your goals then find someone who will share them with you....Don't drag someone along for the ride.... On the other hand if she wants a guy who will respect her and take into account her feelings. She should dump you and go get someone whos grown up already. There are plenty of fish in our part of the ocean....if you going to take drugs and party and not "grow up" Find a chick that is compatable with you.....if are going to move on from that scene maybe this one might be a good pick... who the fuck knows? Last edited by Lostcause; Jul 18, 03 at 03:47 PM.
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Jul 19, 03
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i think she has the right to voice her opinion and tel you she doesnt like it, but askin you to not do it is like you asking her to do it. it aint right, relationships are not about forcing the other person to do what you want....
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Jul 19, 03
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i say forget the E and keep the girl. although i don't really agree with her approach of giving you an ultimatum, if she means a lot to you, the decision should be clear. you don't want to lose her over doing something that you're going to *most likely* eventually grow out of. she obviously cares about you a lot and worries about your health and well-being.
Last edited by Erica; Jul 19, 03 at 10:53 AM.
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Jul 19, 03
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i can't believe that everyone assumes the girl's worth saving. from what we know, these two people have polar opposite viewpoints on life and the things they hold to be sacred. how likely is it that they will have a successful relationship if he decides not to do the e at apex? probably not very since this same issue will come up again and again when he feels like he wants to indulge in a favourite vice. moreover, giving into the ultimatum ensures that future disputes will be painful, and will likely result in the end of the relationship anyways.
so why bother? relationships at young ages are notoriously fickle. just because you're going out with someone doesn't mean that she's the person you should change your whole life for. if she' *the one*, then possibly. otherwise, move on and keep looking. (side thought: how come everyone thinks that he'll outgrow his recreational drug use before he outgrows her? do you really think that'd happen in this case? how often does this happen in the real world? think in practise, not in happyland theory world.)
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Jul 19, 03
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^ you just want to see him do the E! hahahaha.
fuck it. do what you want. listen to you...and whatever you choose you choose, and then shit will go down after that... fyi...if you choose the drugs, then you'll lose her OR there will be a huge discussion on ultimatums and rights in the relationship and what not.... and if you choose not to do the drugs, you'll either feel good about this decision and that's great, or you'll feel unsettled and to me that's a sign of how things will end up... so yea. good luck buddy!
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Jul 19, 03
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the main question is, is she worth it? do you feel strongly enough fer her to change?
is she ok with you doin other stuff, such as weed? i know its a different high but maybe u guys can comprimise with that. anyways.. just make the decision that you feel is right
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Jul 19, 03
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Quote:
Right so if you were with a girl that instead of E she did Coke 2 times a month at clubs.... would you be okay with that?
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Jul 19, 03
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^^^^^ it's not his lifestyle [from what i think i know anyways]...so he probably wouldn't be with that grrl in the first place!
isn't that kind of the point...if you did E or whatever all the time and your grrl is straight-edge...then she probably wouldn't stay with you....and you wouldn't be where you are now....but the fact that you're still together means that A: you don't do drugs all the time...so it's just an issue that comes up sometimes...or B: she's just finally getting fed up with telling you that she doesn't want to be with a druggie...and she's given you an ultimatum...
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Jul 20, 03
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Quote:
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