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| Punching Bag Bitch, cry and whine your way into oblivion. |
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Aug 01, 06
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ex's=drama
is there ever a situation when you and a bf break up and you become good friends? and get along???
ive only been in one real longterm relationship in my whole life and HE hates me now! and the other guys who ive been involved with... cause so much drama! cant we either just get along or completely end the relationship/friendship and move on/.... grrr am i handling the situation wrong? Last edited by STORIE; Aug 01, 06 at 01:57 AM. 
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Aug 01, 06
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well... who ended it? when it comes to heartbreak, people can get harsh :( it takes a long time to get over emotions. sometimes as long as half the time you were with the person, or longer. i've recently become friends with an ex again, and it's nice. but my most recent ex i hate with all of my heart, and that will never change. she is an awful human being, and whore to the bone.
good luck :) sorry if you were really just 'used for thrills'
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Aug 01, 06
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i went out with my ex for about 3 years and then she moved away to australia. we communicate via email and sometimes on the phone. been working fine for a while now.
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Aug 01, 06
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1.) what was the cause of the breakup? were you both lingering on to something that had no life left in it? if so, then it is hopeless to pursue a friendship after this has occurred. the reason why is because the two of you have let yourselves get waay too familiar with each other and in turn have lost all interest in each other's company. this is the main reason why a lot of relationship never go back into "friend" mode, because at least one person (but usually both) do not want to be in each others company. 2.) how did the breakup go down? was it smooth? was there lots of yelling? was there the stereotypical "it's not you, it's me!" bullshit line? or, did you guys come to a consensus right at the beginning and told each other "i do not feel the same for you as i once did. however, you are a really cool girl/guy and i would love it if we could stay friends". this rarely happens but when it does, it is a very stress-free breakup and does not put you in a vulnerable and fragile position. 3.) where there still lingering feelings afterwards? from you? from him? THIS IS THE KILLER! this is the one that takes what could have been a really smooth breakup and turns it into a emotional rollercoaster of head games, hurt feelings, and jealousy. it is hopeless to even contemplate a friendship after this has occurred. Quote:
but there are always things that you can do from preventing certain things from happening: - to prevent a really messy and emotional breakup, tell him as soon as you lose your feeling, EPECIALY if he's the clingy type. trust me, the sooner, the less bullshit you will have to endure. - never insist off the bat that you want to remain friends (unless you know for certain that they feel EXACTLY the same way you do). the reason why is it creates a false sense of hope that they're may still be a chance for the both of you, even if you make it perfectly clear that there is no chance in hell the two of you will get back together. it just makes for unnecessary complications. - maintain contact, but not too much. if he/she starts calling everyday after you breakup to see how you've been, then answer the calls every 2nd day. if they talk about getting back together, then make it specifically clear that it is over and you don't want to talk about it again. if the he/she does not get the idea, then unfortunately the 2 of you cannot have a friendship after a relationship. it sucks, but that's just the way it is sometimes. i hope this has been helpful on some level. and good luck in future relationships you pursue! =) Last edited by Skitzo_Style; Aug 01, 06 at 11:09 AM.
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Aug 01, 06
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Are you surprised?
Actually, I'm still really good Friends with one of my Ex's. :)
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Aug 01, 06
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I think expecting the other party to stay friends with you once you've broken up actually causes a lot of the drama.
Just because you were in a relationship doesn't really give either party an obligation to be friends. I think that expectation causes a lot of tension and can make people hate eachother even more after breaking up. Give it space, a lot of space, even for a few weeks or months. If you still want to be friends, give it a try, but don't try to push it. I've tried staying freinds with some of my exes, it didn't really work out.
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Aug 01, 06
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Once you have been in a long term relationship with someone your caring level is at it's max. Once you have been in love with someone and then there is a breakup, feelings are involved and hearts are broken. It's hard to go back and look at someone on a different level of caring such as "just a friend". Personally I think that staying friends with an ex is pointless. If you didn't want to be with them to begin with and wanted them out of your lives, why must you continue to stay friends with them.
I actually think some ppl do it to come out of the breakup a better person. Like they are trying to prove something. But what ends up happening is that you just get frustrated and it's as if you are taking 3 huge steps back instead of taking little baby steps forward. I read somewhere that the span of getting over a long term breakup is about 2 years. Take your space and if you are meant to be friends, one day you might bump into him or something.
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Aug 01, 06
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Amount of space you should give an ex is directly proportional to how strongly they still feel for you. Trace feelings = 1 month Kind of still like you = 3-6 months Still like = 1 year + Obsessed = Witness relocation program!
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Aug 01, 06
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Obsessed = restraining order and change of surname.
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Aug 01, 06
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good luck
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