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Sep 21, 02
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unhealthy realtionships
I think I'm always drawn to being in unhealthy relationships.
Like now, I'm back with my boyfriend of six months and we just went on a three week break. I called the break 'cos I needed space and time to find out what makes me happy and satisfied, b/c he was fullfilling that. As I've discussed with people about this 'rocky' relationship, advice has been to break it off, to find someone better, and that I deserve more. At times I agree to this, but yet I think I'm scared to let go. So here I am, in an unhealthy relationship where the guy [used] to make me feel shitty about myself, we never saw eachother, and I wasn't happy. Hopefully this will all change ..... time can only tell ............. Any of you like me, and fall into this trap of not wanting to let go, even tho that would probably be the best choice for you? Any advice? *natasha* 
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Sep 21, 02
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opposite.. i let things go really easily..i dont bother trying. i tug on for a bit..then i just let go and give up. im awesome at giving up. i dont allow neone to hurt me... im only allowed to hurt myself.
nat..if u know its an unhealthy relationship think twice about it and if u see more sad days than happy days ahead of u...fuk it. how was the break neways? wut did both of u get out of the 3 week break? i dont understand breaks..
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Sep 21, 02
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^ I'm like bebu, I give up too quickly.... but I know that if it's not working the way you'd like it it's better to call it quitz, I'm SURE there's someone else out there that would make you feel more fulfulled..... but I dunno, hard for me to say for you~ but if I wasn't happy in a relationship I would give up trying to change it and look for something better~
good luck hunz~ :)
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Sep 21, 02
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A relationship can have its ups and downs. If it was that easy, man everyone would be in one. But seriouly, you can only go so far before its times to let go.
It's hard to let go sometimes, but you have to for: -yourself, if your not happy, then why stay in it -not fair to the other person if there unhappy. It takes 2 people to maintain a relationship. If both sides are trying to fix any problems, then the entire relationship is a problem.
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Sep 21, 02
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I say try it out one more time and if it doesn't work out to what you were expecting or the way you wanted it to then break it off completely. If you say your kinda scared of lettin go then you obviuosly still have some feelings and maybe this time things might work out. But then theres always someone out there better for you so maybe you could get in to a small thing with your ex, not somethin too serious and comitted, so then you can both look around and see other people.
Last edited by Guice_39; Sep 21, 02 at 01:08 PM.
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Sep 21, 02
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my mom is like that, she is afraid to let go of things and has time and time and time again, stayed in relationships that are not good for her.
its hard, but for the first time in her life, she is alone. and i think it is wayyyy better for her. i rather be alone, than stay with soemthing that i feel is unhealthy, only you know what is good for you. so there is no advice to give really=) good luck
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Sep 21, 02
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is it because you love him that you can't let go?
maybe you're just used to having him there... you say he "used" to treat you badly...after the 3 week break has this changed? this break was probably a good thing, it gives both of you some space to see if you want to work things out and start over. have you told him how you feel? if he doesn't understand then he definatly does not deserve you...your feelings are the most important thing and if he treats you like shit after this break give him the peace out!
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Sep 21, 02
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Hmmm...I think that if the first three letters of your name are NAT then you have this problem, no?
I've been there too hun, it's so fucking hard to let go because you feel like you've wasted your time and your heart! But all in all, it's worth it. You'll learn a lot of lessons and your next relationship will be so much better. Open your eyes up to the people around you...the perfect one for you is probably right under your nose and you don't even know it! I say, give it one more shot with your current bf. If things don't improve, or they aren't the same, then it's time to break up. I mean, if you need to go on a break after only SIX MONTHS then there's a problem. If you two are destined to be together, things will work out that way...and if you're not, then they won't. All I know is that if you're really THAT unhappy after six months, you're probably never going to be 100% happy with him ever again! I don't mean to be a downer though...but if this guy doesn't realize how freaking lucky he is to have a great girl like you, he deserves to be kicked to the curb! If you're tied down in an unhealthy relationship with Mr. Wrong, Mr. Right just might pass you by! Good luck Nat!!! =)
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Sep 21, 02
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not to sound bitter..
but if you hang on now youll land up 4 years down the road with the same problem.. and more attached to him than you could imagine... its tough to let go, but if youre having this much heartache now save yourself from even more pain in the future... just my 2 cents. when it comes down to it listen to your heart. only you know what you want. best of luck to you. ps. tim4mula... i do believe there is such a thing as a mutual break up.. im (still) dealing with one....
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Sep 22, 02
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Thanks guys*
Yeah .... during the break I think we both learned a few things. He is treating me better now, and things seem alright. Nat - it's like you said - If I break it - I'll feel like I wasted my time and my heart. So far everything okay and I'm gonna give it one more go. But I know if anything neg. happens and my feelings get hurt more then I know I'm going to have to break this up. Thanks for all your advice *much * luv*
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Sep 22, 02
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I think everyone has had to do this in some way shape or form...
It is and always will be difficult to give up or break off something that you are comfortable with... In this case, someone who you have shared some pretty special things with that you don't share with just anyone. He knows you and you know him - that includes the good and the bad qualities --- you've grown comfortable, accusomted to it and who knows, in some cases it may even be a habit. That is what you have to be careful of... If you are wanting to get back together to get back in the boyfriend/girlfriend routine you once had then it is definitely not worth it. If your efforts now are truly because you are still in love with him, and he with you and he is serious about dealing with these issues he has had in the past, then it is worth that risk. If none of what I just said is the case, then as Lil Miss'FunFun said, you are setting yourself up to be hurt WAY more in the future. Good luck Nat... PS: you new avatar is cute! Mmmmmmmm... you half breeds! Errrr I mean...
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Sep 22, 02
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Things are always great when you first get back together, doesn't take long for them to go back to the way they were before... learn to fucken' quit while you're ahead.... or before you hate each other... even more ;]
The thought of wanting to break up with them to find someone better has entered your mind, and now that it's been implanted, it's going to take quite a bit to remove it probably.. if ever. You'll always expect a lot more from the relationship, and even if they are trying, you won't appreciate it as much because you came so close to giving it up and you're still hesitant. Save yourself and him the time and emotional drama and move on. No, wait... I'll let you learn the hard way. Enjoy.
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Sep 22, 02
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errrrr. ...... thanks stabby .........
no, I know I'm prob setting myself up - but seriously - one more time that's it. I know one of the main reasons is the whole "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship feel. And I do miss that, and I do want that (yes, I admit it). During our break I went for what I thought I wanted and it ended up , that really, that 'issue' wasn't that big of a deal and that I need a 'real' relationship. Someone to love, and love me back. He's my ssecurity blanket and I need that for now.
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Sep 22, 02
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:kimmie: thanks kraig*
it from that photo shoot I did in the summer with the vintage car I have more - but Iono, I ain't no model so they arn't that good. I just like this one, 'cos of the lilly :kimmie:
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Sep 22, 02
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Hey Tim - I just realized your avartar says
"I Heat DJ4" Is it suppose to be I Heart Dj4?....... Im confuzzuled
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Sep 22, 02
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Kraig* - Heres another pic from a diff shoot
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Sep 22, 02
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haha I can't model!
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Sep 22, 02
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TIM: ohhhhh okay, I see...
The pics were taken by my friend Vanessa, who is with Sammy! in Ryerson =) The b&w one tho was from ... *ahem* some guy off Asianavenue ........uhhh.... hehe ... I just did it for fun - they needed practice for their porfolios
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