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Nov 30, 02
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figuring out wut you want from a relationship.
Well I think I've finally figured out wut I want from a boy.. if I ever get one.. heh..
I think.. that once you figure out wut you want.. you can really sorta look for wut you want in you partner.. But dont go looking for your partner.. cause.. you'll just end up with crap.. I believe it should sorta just happen.. type thing.. though.. for me its hard to follow that.. cause I'm quite up front about it.. usually if I like a guy.. he know.. by me being stupid and just telling him, and usually scaring him off or something. ugh.. though.. I'm not doing that at the moment.. heh.. kinda keeping quiet! I'm pretty suprised I was able to figure out wut it is I want.. or maybe perhaps it what I think I want.. but have yet to find out.. if its actually.. that I want.. i'm not exactly sure.. Does anyone else on here know what they want from a relationship.. beside.. like.. 'oh I want a open relationship' or 'oh, I want a commitment' type thing.. like.. do you know.. sorta exactly how you want things to be.. of course.. they're not gonna be exactly your way.. cause your partners has a say in it to.. but you have sorta an out line.. of what you want from the relationship...? Of course.. what I want is gonna take awhile to find, because its not gonna just jump infront of me and say... 'hey, blah blah blah' and be exactly what I want.. like.. of course.. I'm gonna have to.. I guess you can say, negotiate.. what I want with him.. But I know.. I have an answer to all the questions.. well maybe not all.. but most. k, I have an IDEA. k, I think.. I'm sorta rambling right now.. and not exactly making sense.. but you should have the main idea of wut i'm saying.. or osmething.. any one out there.. know wut i'm talking about.. sorta? 
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Nov 30, 02
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I have no freaking clue what I want .
Ok I know what i want, I think. Yet i still don't take the steps needed to do that because i want to do things differently. Then there's always that completely unrealistic, ideal relatsionship we all want but will win the lottery before any of us really get it. I've learned that I can't have that right now (I'm saving that for the man/woman/person I marry :P ) so its still obviously a little wish of mine in the back of my head. As long as i'm not delusional and believe that i will find it right away, if ever, then its all good. I also think what I want is something I probably shouldn't have right now, because I don't think i'm ready to commit. And I can't sit here and realistically map out what i exactly want in a relationship. I can sure as hell tell you what kind of persn I want to share that relationship with though. Then there is always the basic, respect, trust, caring, etc that everyone needs in a realtionship, and the ones that I place special significance in. I know how I want to feel, and how i never want to feel. I also know what my boy/girl would get a kick to the groin for doing, or not doing haha. There's many aspects to a relationship and there are certains ones i want/need to be in play, whether it be in a romantic relationship, or friendship, for me to be happy and feel good about myself and the other person. But i'm going to start rambling now, because i could go on forever about relationships. Right now i'm happy with what i have and don't have, although I do get confused at time (you shush jovi :P), I realize there's no need to push anything. And I get what i need from the person I am (kind of) with..? so basically I think taking things how they come and dealing with them accordingly is all i need at this point in my life.. to know what i want in a relationship. is that what you meant?? haha
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Nov 30, 02
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And if not.. you can have me :D
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Nov 30, 02
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Your needs and wants in what you would describe as a fundamental and fulfilling relationship changes with age. Trying to figure out what you want and what you need is the hard part and mostly requires a lot of trial and error, being in different relationships, being hurt, falling in and out of love, going out with a variety of different people to find what fits you. Over the years, I have gathered this much as to what makes a relationship work for me:
Friendship foundation to start from Happiness (Concept of reality VS fantasy, realistic yet with some ideals) Shared Interests Cynical Bastard like myself. Geeking out with comics, RPing, video games, etc. Appreciation for self, each other, and art(music) Similar views on beauty Hatred towards a common thing, or people ;] Knowledge of self/the other person Common sense (You would be suprised how many people lack it) Love for food, hatred for pickles ;] I'm sure there's more that I'll add later....
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Nov 30, 02
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relationships r big time poo poo especially if ur young cuz ur just wasting ur time on meaningless bullshit that is never going anywhere and thus ur missing out on great experiences
but thats just in my humble bitter opinion
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Nov 30, 02
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^--- no no no !
I would have to argue that if you don't participate in relationships while you're young, you're wasting time and experiences that could really help to develop your personality...not to metion that "the one" could pass you by while you were young and you'd end up miserable and alone for the rest of your life... =)
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Nov 30, 02
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ill take miserable and alone ANY DAY! me and my best friend made a promise 2 each other that if we both arent married by the age of 30 we b gettin hitched lezbian style!!!
galaxie i say that stuff cuz relationships arent my cup of tea i am a free spirit and do not want 2 be on lock down plus i get bored and guys only ever appeal 2 me sexually :smoke1:
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Nov 30, 02
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The fact that I knew what I wanted, and that I kept my high ideals, was the reason I waited, and eventually found the person that I needed. One thing is for sure, no one is perfect, and the person you are meant to be with might have quirks and interests that are completely different than your ideal, but because you fall in love, those things end up enriching and making the relationship that much more fabulous.
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Dec 01, 02
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AHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA ill never know what i want.
ever. ever in my whole entire life. well, not any time soon. ask anyone that knows me. im all over the map. one day it's sweet. the next its a complete disaster. maybe one day ill find someone that wants the same thing as me.. and they can never say the word "relationship" because it makes me run harder and faster then ever before. HA!
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Dec 01, 02
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i think theres no point in knowing exactly what you want because in the end youLL never find that person who will match your ideal, unless you're SERIOUSLY lucky. i say keep your expectations broad, yet specific enough to have a few important standards that you go by.
every person is different and unique in their own way and if i feel comfortable with a girl or admire something about her, what i want in a relationship will ALWAYS change depending on the person. so go with the flow and dont be so obsessed about relationships.... shit happens! =)
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Dec 01, 02
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The friendship factor is the most important part I think. There is a lot more to gain from these relationships, but there is a lot to lose at the same time. When friendships turn into relationships, there is a chance that the friendship will dissappear if there is a breakup. It suxs, trust me I've been there. But I don't regret doing it, because I have grown from the relationship. The time that I was with her, I had a blast. :soak: LISTEN TO STABBY EVERYONE. The relationship queen has spoken. Last edited by dj4mula; Dec 01, 02 at 10:48 AM.
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Dec 01, 02
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Dec 01, 02
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It seems to me that there are those who involve themselves in a lot of different relationships, some good, some not so good, and perhaps eventually give up, grow bitter,and hate the whole thing. Then there are those who are so in tune with themselves, that it didn't take being in a relationship to know what they wanted, thereby giving them the freedom to wait, be picky, and recognise the person they needed when he/she came along.
The moral of the story? Know yourselves, the rest will follow :)
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Dec 01, 02
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stabby...amazing. simply amazing
amazing relationships = having doubts that its "too good to be true" jovi..just be patient, what you want in a relationship takes 2 to figure out.. you and the boy. so when u find the right guy, things would change and youll find the relationship comfort zone between you two. and when things settle u'll love it. i know exactly wut i want right now..and i also know what i want doesn't exsist because of my selfishness. in about...4-7 months what i want will change and hopefully someone will be out there can fill the lil space in my heart.. its nice having someone who cares about u. just SOMEONE close by ure side.. no hunting needed.. just be patient and let the weird lusty stuff hit u.
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Dec 01, 02
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Thought of a few others, do bear in mind these are ones I would use to describe an ideal relationship, or somethings that should be considered.
Trust/honesty/open mindedness. Social independence from one another Mutual dependence, dependence on the same level, no more dependence on one person than the other. The main thing would be equality, you do not fight for power in the relationship, no one person "whips" the other into submission, (unless you're into that kinda thing ;]) Most cases, you don't know what you want when you have it, or you want what you can't have, but chances are that once you get it, you won't want it anymore.... so be very careful what you wish for..... often in times, people's perception are clouded as to what they think they want in a relationship. It's nice to wish for an ideal relationship, or at least have a rough idea as to what you want, but don't make it a requirement voiding them being kicked in the nuts deal. Don't always expect perfection, because it does not exist, it's the quirks and the mishaps that sometimes turn out for the better in a relationship. But these things are deathly obvious so don't mind me, I'm just rambling cuz I just got up.... where's my coffee?
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Dec 01, 02
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:kimmie:
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Dec 01, 02
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K, well, let me get something straight.. I know wut I want from the relationship.. but not like in the boy type thing.. cause I like to keep that open.. if that makes sense.. and I am willing to change a few things from what I want in it.. cause its not carved in stone!
I just have a main idea.. I'm not gonna go run and look for it.. i'm gonnalet it find me.. though.. got a boy in mind.. I just hope he find me.. heh.. but thats probably a WHOLE other thread.. heh.. but I dont think it will really change.. cause.. if I think back to my other relationships.. and wut I wanted.. its all very similar to the same shyte.. so i dont think it will change.. but I dunno for sure cause shit happens.. oh well!
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Dec 01, 02
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i know exactly what i want from a relationship.
the only problem is that i'm way ahead of myself. and the fact that there's a considerable age gap between me and my better half, just pushes things even further. however, regardless of the bind i'm in with what i want, and what i've got right now, i don't think i'd know what i wanted from a relationship with someone else. and quite frankly, even if i did know what i wanted from another relationship, it couldn't possibly amount to what i want out of my relationship right now.
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Dec 01, 02
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^yeha, that second line.. pretty much is my problem..
I'm toooo far ahead of myself.. I tend to do that with everything though.. its giegh.. but I wanna be far a head I guess.. its just findin some one.. in the same state as you.. fawk
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Dec 01, 02
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k i was going to say something really profound...but i 4got :trippin:
but i vaguely remember everything that all of u posted and i agree with certain aspects of all ur views or whatever the shat u wanna call em. dont knock masturbation its sex with sumone u love :toasted: haha k bye
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Dec 01, 02
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the younger u are the further in life u wanna be..
and the older u are the younger u wanna be.. its always gonna be like that, just look at me.. i want way more than wut my lil age can handle. i need to enjoy my childhood more. being in a relationship isn't everything in life..theres much more other things to get ureself into and enjoy.
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Dec 10, 02
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I know what I want, but I've never felt the need to put it into words so upon being asked on the spot what I want, I honestly wouldn't be able to tell ya..
In the end it all comes down to what's best for myself. I've figured my way through relationships in the past and I know that I'll do them in the future... process of elimination.. haha. but something that I couldn't see any relationships without, is an emotional "Connection".. emotional support.. I'm an expressive person and some one who doesn't... really provide ground for me to be who I am, isn't gonna work in the long-run... some one who fulfills me, and whom I feel I can fulfill in return. (uhhduhhhh) Last edited by yoko*; Dec 10, 02 at 06:35 PM.
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Dec 11, 02
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^agreed. i love pickles. amd as for knowing what you want in a relationship.....anyone on ED will already know my stand point.
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