Long Distance Relationship

[galaxie]

*sigh*

so my boyfriend got a job working for Club Med
he leaves in one week for a year, and he's only able to come home after six months for a period of two weeks.

I hate this feeling of the unknown - I've never had to deal with something even relatively close to this. I'm used to seeing him every day, and now I probably won't see him for at least 3-4 months (when I will be able to go visit).

Has anyone been through anything like this? Any advice or suggestions you can give me?

I just don't know how I'm going to be able to deal =(

[Kandyapple]

Just keep in touch as much as you can. I had a friend from work just go back to england to see her bf. They have been appart for about 2 years now and have been dating long distance and together for 6 years. It is possible if you both have the will to make it work.

Good luck.

[Pussy_Kat]

In one word
TRUST

[Sweetee]

It can work if you both want it to *hugs*

I some what understand...fell for a guy (uncontrolable fate I tell ya) when I said I wouldn't get involved with anyone for a very long time.
Anyway he just moved across Canada but now is over in Afghanistan for atleast 6 months (yep army man)

Even though I love him, just going on living my life...doing my thing and letting the future unfold. I know I can look up into the sky and see the same moon he can...so in reality he's not thhhhhhhhhhhat far :kimmie:

[stringbeans]

in my opinion, long distance relationships dont work

let me see if i can get a quote from the chickssuck.com guy...

[stringbeans]

ah here we go..

from www.chickssuck.com

We live in a very technologically advanced world. People can literally be thousands and thousands of miles from each other, and still have the ability to communicate via telephone, email, videoconferencing, chat, etc. etc. People like me can put up web pages, and others in Asia and Europe can see the changes instantly.

And all of this sucks.

If I hear one more chick here talk about her boyfriend in Europe, I think I will go nuts. It seems as if the digital age has spawned digital relationships of sorts.

These aren’t "true" relationships. ALL long-distance relationships are doomed to fail, yet chicks seem to like think that THEIR long-distance relationship won’t fail. They think THEY are the exception to the rule, always.

There’s a girl in one of my classes, who I heard talking about her boyfriend in Germany. Now, what’s the fucking point? She probably gets to see him once a year, if even that. They presumably can’t talk on the phone too much because it’s so expensive. But hey, email is cheap.

There’s another girl, who I think might actually be interested in me, but she’s also in a LD relationship. This girl told me that I was, "a very interesting person," and told me that she might write about me for one of her classes.

The other day, she mentioned her boyfriend in England. She emails him every other day. How adorable!!

There are probably a few of you chicks in LD relationships who are vehemently disagreeing with me right now. Fine, so think about this: Have any of you ever heard of a guy talking about his girlfriend in France?

NO. Because guys truly know that LD relationships are shit, and the first chance he gets to get out of one, he will. Guys are embarrassed to say they have a girlfriend 400 miles away, forget one across the ocean.

Part of this mentality has to do with non-married monogamy. In the cases of LD relationships, though, it’s much worse. Imagine wasting three years of your life waiting on your "boyfriend" in Sweden, only to later see him in a Swedish Porno, fucking the shit out of a big-busted blonde Swede.

I would not expect anyone to wait around for me if I had to move for any reason. And I would not wait around on anyone. It does me no good to have a girlfriend if I only see her twice a year. It does me no good to have a girlfriend if I only see her on major holidays.

It does me no good to have a girlfriend if I have to masturbate.

The only way I’d be happy with a chick who was 400 miles a way, would be if my dick were 400 miles and 6 inches long.

I have a long way to go.

[Sweetee]

hahaha that's funny

however totally depends on the situation though. meeting someone online and having a "relationship" ...chances are it won't work but hey it has happened.

Trust is very important.

Sometimes it doesn't even have to be a "relationship" but you know you'll still wait for the person. Of course living your own life in the mean time...

[jaydream]

*hugs*

well ill be here for you anytime you need me
you have a lot of friends that love you, ie ME!!!
grady is awesome guy
he will have a blast
a year can go faster than ya think
and trust me its going to be a awesome summer
he'll be having fun and so will you!

look at it positively and it will work out positively

[ashley112]

long distance relationships are a peice of cake

[-ff-]

From someone who has managed to fuck things up royally in his past take it from me:

Break up now. No strings. And mean it (this is the most important part).

When he comes home, you can reassess. But if you let him go away, and let him keep your heart (whether you stay together, or break up but don't really mean it) you are going to get it broken.

[cinist]

break up with him, he is definatly going to cheat on you.

[wigglesworth]

yah i'd say break up.
interest might be high at first, but he's working at club med.
think about the kind of atmosphere there.
after awhile he'll probably resent the relationship.
if he really wanted to be with you he wouldn't have taken the job.

its harsh but probably true.

[galaxie]

^ well I'm actually the one who made him take the job
I didn't want him to have any regrets about our relationship - he didn't want to go because he wanted to stay here with me.

[galaxie]

Originally posted by jaydream:
*hugs*

well ill be here for you anytime you need me
you have a lot of friends that love you, ie ME!!!
grady is awesome guy
he will have a blast
a year can go faster than ya think
and trust me its going to be a awesome summer
he'll be having fun and so will you!

look at it positively and it will work out positively

thanks Jay
you're the best
*hugs back*
love ya too =)

[galaxie]

What I said to him is that we'll stay together for the time being, but if at any point in time while he's there he feels like he wants to be free to fool around or whatever, he can tell me and we'll break up, and see what happens when he gets home. The idea there being that if we're together and he gets with some girl I'll never be able to forgive him, but if he's honest with me about it and we break up, I could forgive him and be with him when he comes home.

Reasonable? I think it is...

[jaydream]

Originally posted by galaxie
What I said to him is that we'll stay together for the time being, but if at any point in time while he's there he feels like he wants to be free to fool around or whatever, he can tell me and we'll break up, and see what happens when he gets home. The idea there being that if we're together and he gets with some girl I'll never be able to forgive him, but if he's honest with me about it and we break up, I could forgive him and be with him when he comes home.

Reasonable? I think it is...

very reasonable
honesty is always the best path...
as cheesy as it sounds if you guys should be together it will happen. just live today. and never say never :)

[mugsy]

this isnt personal experience, its my brothers. he moved to nova scotia and left his lady here.... and within a couple of months he was seeing another girl. the lady here knew it, and him and the lady here still talked religously morning and night on the phone.
he came home for christmas, and i didnt even really see him cause he spent most of his time with her, but the girl in halifax was phonin alot... but now hes talkin about movin to montreal with the lady here... its all crazy.
i want to be a romantic and say everything will work out, and it could, but it may not. dont think he doesnt care emensely for you or cherish the relationship because he left, its obviously an oppurtunity of a lifetime, i dont think many people would turn it down. and in your posts, youre the one that convinced him, so i dont think that leaving you is something he can just chrug his shoulders at.
i say break up when he leaves, a year is a very very long time.
my girlfriend just went to africa fro 6 months, came home to the guy she was dating before she left and they tried things again, but both had changed and it just wasnt the same relationship.
long distance doesnt work. ive been to those resorts... and seen the people who had "girlfriends" back in canada.. then they got drunk with me an my girlfriends, and they guy tried to at first hld my hand\throw his arms around me.. then it lead to him tryin to kiss me... people who work on the resorts are there to flirt and make the patrons feel great....
yah i say break up now, see where you are when he gets home. it will safe the heart ache, if any actually happens. breakin up doesnt mean either of you will even cheat...

[*KeLLnEsS*]

I don't believe in the whole long distance thing, but you dont really have a choice, but i think its a good test on your relationship to see if you can withstand that sort of thing. And if u can hey maybe he's the one rite? I key is communication would it be possible to call him like every few days kinda thing and talk for a looooong time? Long distance bills tend to add up quickly

[jaydream]

^^

i disagree
keep in touch for sure but
you guys gotta let go while your apart
that doesnt mean you have to break up
but if talk everyday then you will just miss each other more
you should both just enjoy yourselves. the time will go faster.
because you wont be thinking about each so much

[cheeseburger]

if things are meant to be, it'll eventually work out. You'll be stronger then ever.

Alot of things can change in a year. Everyone has their own agendas and things can change very quickly.


Our situations are similiar..

but oh so not.

I don't feel like comparing them online b/c its not really anyones business. However, like jay said. You've got lots of peeps here..
give me a call or msn me if you wish

[DJ Ponz]

I moved to Prince George for school leaving a chick I thought was the "one". I wouldn't even dream of keeping a significant other without giving the whole relationship the ax first. In the end, she fucked me: fucked my friends, claimed she was molested and then moved away herself. That was a great experience. :finger: Dirty, dirty biatch.....

I figure I'm way too young to be wasting my time with serious shit - especially long-distance. Besides, how much are you gonna change during that year? What about him? And no offence, but encouraging him to work at Club Med is like asking him to go to Temptation Island without you. Shit, I work in hotels and washed up Bellmen tell me all kinds of crazy shit about when they worked down there. I suggest joining the fuck-fest that typifies your early 20s. If you're meant to be together, you will, but not this year.

[MusHHeaD]

use msn video conference or just the audio function, basically free long distance calling. you can talk for hours.

Trust and communication. that's the only way.

Goodluck

[hardstylin]

break up with him long distance doesnt work, in the long run ull be happy you did it. save urself the 4 months of feeling lonely just to find out its over, or go on a break and get back together when he gets back. Unless ur totally in love they just dont work from what ive seen.

[ebbomega]

Originally posted by stringbeans
in my opinion, long distance relationships dont work

let me see if i can get a quote from the chickssuck.com guy...

Been doing a semi-long distance relationship for the better part of a year now, things are still going hella strong.

I had a friend go off to Japan for 9 months leaving his gf behind, that was a year ago and they're still together to this day.

Under some circumstances, it can work. Basically, how long have you guys been going out? How well do you know each other? Are you planning on spending the rest of your lives together (and does he know this)? Do you trust each other? Do you trust yourselves?

[*spacecase*]

i was in a long distance relationship for a year and a bit.

We were totally in love and i thought that we could overcome the distance. Things got kinda fucked up (to say the least) and we broke up.

The thing is, you will WANT your relationship to work, but it won;t.
At this age, you go through SOOO MUCH STUFF. You are constantly changing and growing as a person. You and your partner will change and grow apart from each other, no matter how hard you try not to.

i say break up now. it will hurt like hell, but its for the best.

if it is meant to be, you will get together after he comes home in a year.

save yourself the heartbreak.

TRUST ME