~*what would u do?*~

[Breezy]

K, lets say that a friend of urz trusted you enuf to tell you that his/her parents beat him/her... and they say to you that they trust you enuf not to tell anyone about it....

would u:
a) be true to your friend and not tell a soul and just b there for them when they need it, because this is what he/she wanted... you don't want to break your friends trust???
...or
b) tell sum1 because you believe in the end this will help your friend out and you don't wanna c them living like this???
*hugz*
~breezy

[techno_babe]

i say u try to help

u can't just know about it and then just sit around and comfort her when she/he needs to be comforted

u have to try to help even if it results in u tellin someone else about it

hopefully she/he will understand that what u did was best for him/her and everything will be fine!!!!

that's what i think!


Good Luck!

PS: maybe the reason she/he told u about the beating is a way to ask for help!

i donno....

[Erica]

This is SUCH a toughy...I had to go through two similar things with friends trusting me, while they were being hurt. First one was this girl that I just adore. She's 14, and I met her when I was partying. She talks to me like I'm an older sister...and on the night of Heartbreaker, she told me that her dad found out she was partying, and shoved her back...she fell right into the glass table and shattered it. She told me about how her dad is so abusive towards her mom and family. They've called the cops on him a few times, but they did nothing. Just threatened him, asked him if he'd do it again...he said no, and then they left. This was several times, and they STILL didn't do nothing. Then one time, it got REAL bad...to the point where he almost killed her mother. Her friend called the cops, and my friend had to go live in a foster home for a few months. She was broken, cause she had to be split up from her sibliings...BUT, at the same time, she was safe. Second incident...my friend was suicidal, and trusted me not to tell anybody. One night, she vowed to me that she was going to kill herself. I called the cops...they didn't do much, but I think they scared some sense into her. It was traumatising for her, and she was ungrateful, but in the end, she's still alive today...and now, she finally understands where I'm coming from.

All I can say, is that if you are TRULY her friend and really care about her...even though it's tough as hell, you have to tell somebody. She's in danger right now...she's being hurt...and this kinda abuse is going to scar her for a LONG time. The sooner it ends, the better. She might be angry, BUT, a true friend would care about their friend's well-being first. That's what matters the most. Hopefully in the long run, she'll come around and be thankful that you helped her out. That's how it usually happens...good luck hun! *hugs* Do the right thing...

[wundergirl]

my dad was very abusive for a long time.

there were a select few that i told about it simply because i couldn't hide it from them as well as i wanted to.

all i can say is that, no, they never told. and i appreciate that to this day. they were there when i needed to talk, or needed a place to stay. even when i needed someone to come and help
me up off the floor and clean me up. they did more than they could ever imagine and never told anyone in the process.

it's a tough call, i would be in the same place you are if i was facing that. but try to convince THEM that THEY can get help themselves first, before doing anything else. maybe they just need someone to give them a course of action.

i dunno hon. all i can say is that being on the other side, things are a very different shade of black and very hard to understand. try everything you can before breaking your friends trust....it may be all they feel they have right now.

*HUGS*

[bob]

don't take things into your own hands. let him/her know ur concerned, but don't do anything that might jeopardize someone's life/future... ultimately, it should be for him/her to decide... don't play god.

u may think that ur doing them a favor by telling child welfare or whoever. but, sometimes that's not the best thing to do... child welfare can't always neutralize the situation, and u can bet ur sorry ass all hell is gonna break loose if daddy finds out u been talkin' shit about him...



look... either:
he/she grows up, getting beat by mom/dad. BUT AT LEAST HE/SHE HAS PARENTS

or...

he/she grows up in a foster home, with shit all of a life... (FOSTER HOMES ARE NOT A FUN PLACE TO BE)

or...

he/she grows up without any abuse, kid turns out to be a snot nosed sissy, thinks he can get away with anything cuz he's never been punished, but ends up getting his beats later on anyways, cuz he's too much of a wimp to fend for himself...




...there's no solution.

wise scat-eating man says: don't stick your head up someone else's ass...