lonely =(

[Kelster]

i thought you said you guys broek up?

i wouldn't tell you to cheat on grady

[galaxie]

what the fuck?!

nooooooo HELL NO we didn't break up!!!
where did you get that from!?!?

[lildonkey]

I know what your going through... my girlfriend been gone for 3 weeks now... and i was like that too.. had trouble sleeping at night.....worried a lot.... but since im a guy i dealt with it differently... instead of feeling just sad.... i was sad and angry...

the stuff that would normally just annoy me a little bit, seemed to be piss me off 100x more... and i caught myself bitching at friends... flipping out for no reason.... basically feeling really frusterated.... i went from knowing where she was 24/7 and talking to her like every couple hours... to ... maybe being lucky if she was able to go on msn or something every 4-5 days... since she was in peru and phones werent accessable and only sometimes they could make it out to an internet cafe when they were in bigger cities....

shes coming home on sunday and i cant fucking wait!! :)

[Kelster]

ooooo-k

i thought that's what you said on the phone on sunday, but my bad :soak:

either way, what i said still holds tho...but if you've found happiness, and by the sounds of it, you really have then party on ;)

[lildonkey]

oh and advice....

1.) Don't hang with people you're not too good of friends with too much.... because you will find yourself easily annoyed with them and you might end up getting in a fight with them over nothing

2.) Hang out with friends you've been friends with for a long time and that you know well.. and the other way around... the type of friend you can be around 24/7 and not get annoyed with because you both know eachother so well and know what to do and what not to do to piss eachother off

3.) whenever you miss them, scroll through the small stuff... like text messages.... little pictures.... notes... etc etc

4.) Think about how good it will be once he comes back...

5.) By your posts... i can tell your not a slut... so i'm gonna assume your relationship went like this...... First you guys started going out.... then you got inseperable etc etc... then once you guys had sex... it was like a whole new level of closeness and love.... and when he comes back i guarantee you there will be an even higher level of love and appreciation :)

6.) Good luck, it may suck now.... but just think about how good it will be when he comes back :)

[lildonkey]

Kelster : If you're her friend and know how upset she is over her boy leavin, then why would you say something like that?

[Kelster]

i was really drunk last night :soak:

[lildonkey]

Yah but didn't you just post saying "what i said still holds tho" ?

[miss.myra]

The first part is always the worst, trust me, I've been there.

You'll learn to appreciate the space, and you'll learn to appreciate yourself.

Remember, it isn't supposed to be easy. If he's worth it and if it is something true, then this can only make things stronger. You can appreciate the little things you often take for granted so much when you get to actually see the person frequently.

I know you're strong Natalie, and you've got a ton of people that love you a lot and will always be there for you if you need them (me included).

You're determined to make this work, I know it- it's not easy..but if it meant to be, then it is meant to be.

<3 you!

[galaxie]

Originally posted by lildonkey:
5.) By your posts... i can tell your not a slut... so i'm gonna assume your relationship went like this...... First you guys started going out.... then you got inseperable etc etc... then once you guys had sex... it was like a whole new level of closeness and love.... and when he comes back i guarantee you there will be an even higher level of love and appreciation :)

Pretty close.
The night we first met I felt like I'd already known him a lifetime, and he felt the same way. It was probably the closest I could imagine love at first sight...even if I didn't know it was love at the time. It's been really crazy, but we have this amazing connection that neither of us even knew we could feel, which makes the situation at hand feel impossible, when I know it's really not!

I can't wait until he comes back...the thought of us being closer than we are is really overwhelming (in a great way), because I'm definitely closer to him than I've ever been to anyone, and I've let him in to my world 100%, whereas in the past I've done some holding back.

Thanks for your advice, and I envy you since your gf's coming back on Sunday! I can't wait until my version of your Sunday comes...tentatively sometime before June 25 (his bday, he wants to be back before his 21st!).

Kel, no worries. I know you wouldn't have said that if you didn't think that we had broken up, it makes sense now =0) I just don't see where you got that we had broken up, but it's OK!

Myra, thanks. I'm definitely determined - and you know me, determination is my strongpoint, only 'cause I'm stubborn as hell though! And I know what you mean about taking the little things for granted, those are now the things I miss the most! Like waking up beside him, the way he always leans over to kiss me at a red light, his smile and the glimmer in his eyes, playing with his hair, making dinner together (or rather, him watching me make dinner and insisting on trying to help), etc etc, I could go on and on. I already appreciated those things so much, but I definitely appreciate them more now that I can't have them all the time!

[Kelster]

Originally posted by lildonkey
Yah but didn't you just post saying &quot;what i said still holds tho&quot; ?

yea, i'm not going to go back on what i said...i strongly believe in it

but everyones different, and you guys are really happy being in a serious relationship and that's all that really matters...being happy :)

[mugsy]

ok listen galaxie. i was giving constructive critisism, you just dont know how to take it.
you need to start being happy being alone. THATS CONSTRUCTIVE. you shouldnt be so co-dependent. THATS CONSTRUCTIVE.
and again, you havent broke up or lost him, you keep saying you are commited and in love, why are you complaining? think of all the women whose husbands are fighting war or boyfriends or fiances...
you need to go be by yourself. you'll never grow.

[galaxie]

^ look up the definition of constructive, and then get back to me. Also, advice and criticism are two totally different things. I asked for advice.

Telling me how I should and should not feel is not constructive, it's bossy. Suggestions are constructive, to demand that someone do something or feel a certain way, is not.

An example of constructive advice would be what *spacecase* posted. Things to do to get over the hump of adjusting to daily life without someone who is normally a stable in your life. Simply because I'm used to having my boyfriend around all the time, and I am having a hard time getting used to daily life without him, does not make me a co-dependent. Co-dependency is generally a psychological condition, and it's not something that should be thrown around insensitively.

All you did was tell me how much better everyone in your life has dealt with situations totally different from mine! That's not very constructive - I asked how to cope, not for your life story! You said that your mom didn't break down - but you didn't say WHAT she DID to keep her from breaking down!

See where I'm going with this?

I know exactly how to take constructive advice. As a matter of fact, I've done everything that *spacecase* suggested except for making music and drawing, because I suck at, and don't enjoy either of those activities.

But anyway, I don't see any point in arguing this further because you clearly don't know the difference in definition between several very important words in the English language. I'm not going to argue the definition of words like "constructive" and "advice" with you...firstly, because I'm the grammar police and I know I'm right, and secondly, because I have dictionary.com to prove me right.

[Rytalin]

go get laid?

[mugsy]

ok now youve gone too far. basically this is what you wanted me to write "ohh im so sorry your boyfriend has gone bye bye for a little while... eat some ice cream and have a pillow fight with your ladies!!!"
you seem to write like you have some intelligence, use it and apply it. you know all the answers your going to get if your such a "good advice giver".
different situations... my brother is going through the same shit. he lived with his girl... now hes on the other side of the country.
you clearly have not grown past grade 9 if you cant be in a mature relationship, because in a mature relationship you would feel sad, but not depressed that your man was gone.
AND I SAID, look at what you do have, a boyfriend who apparently loves you. isnt that enough to make you want to get out of bed in teh morning?
you want some constructive critism? i gave you some. i said go out, be by yourself. experience this. be sad, just do it outside. dont keep yourself inside. the best thing to do is get out.

what you just wrote in that post was demeaning and disrespectful to me. dont ever do that again.
and obviously you are not good at dealing with any sort of critisism, which is not a very good quality.

what did my mom do from keepin from breaking down? she went out with the dog, took walks, was alone. my neoghbour who lost her husband to a car accident does the same shit, takes her dog out for long long walks, gets fresh air and feels better, even if its jsut remotely its better.

just get out, and enjoy your space.

notice how i didnt call you stupid or unintelligent? notice how i actually complimented you but still got my point across? you should try it some day.

[*KeLLnEsS*]

Simmer down ladies....

[mugsy]

and one more thing, you asked for advice, i gave you my advice. you decided to make remarks on my advice, and so i stood up for myself.
maybe i should apologize for standing behind my remarks?
did you expect everyone to respond in the same way?

[galaxie]

I never said you were "stupid" or "unintelligent". I simply stated the fact that you clearly do not know the definition of advice and constructive, so don't go putting words into my mouth. Your understanding of these words is clearly foggy, which is why I suggested brushing up on their definitions.

Where did I say I was depressed?
Again, depression, like co-dependent, isn't a word you should throw around so lightly.
I am not depressed that he is gone, I am sad, like I originally said. If I were depressed, it would not be 'somedays' that I feel crappy, it would be all days. It would not be that I didn't feel like getting out of bed, it would be that I would not get out of bed. Each person is entitled to good and bad days, no matter their life situations.

I can deal with criticism just fine, but only when it's justified. You assumed things that I never even implied (depressed, co-dependent, I wasn't eating, I was staying inside, et cetera), and then criticised me for them. That's absolutely unfounded and ridiculous. Especially if you've been in a situation where someone very close to you has left for a long period of time, then you should probably know that the first couple of weeks are a hard transition time and it's often hard to grasp the situation and cope with it because you're not used to it yet.

I think you should try fully reading posts before you reply to them with the bossy-pants attitude that you've exerted here.

Originally posted by mugsy:
what did my mom do from keepin from breaking down? she went out with the dog, took walks, was alone. my neoghbour who lost her husband to a car accident does the same shit, takes her dog out for long long walks, gets fresh air and feels better, even if its jsut remotely its better.

See? That's exactly what I was looking for. Would it really have been that hard to just say that in the first place?

If you feel so demeaned and disrespected by me defending myself due to you disrespecting and demeaning me, what does that say about you? You're allowed to criticise me, but I'm not allowed to voice my opinion regarding you and your opinions on the current topic? Rather hypocritical of you.

You're most definitely entitled to your opinion, as am I, as is everyone else, however, I would, as I'm sure others would, appreciate it if you would stick to the current topic and the question at hand. My original question was not "tell me about people in your life who have been apart from those close to them", it was "Anyone have any ideas of how to cope (with being apart from a loved one)?". I asked for certain advice for a certain reason, if I wanted to know all about your life story, and everyone else's, I would have asked.

[galaxie]

Originally posted by mugsy:
and one more thing, you asked for advice, i gave you my advice. you decided to make remarks on my advice, and so i stood up for myself.
maybe i should apologize for standing behind my remarks?
did you expect everyone to respond in the same way?

Again, you completely miss the point of what "advice" is.

ad·vice
n.
1. Opinion about what could or should be done about a situation or problem; counsel.

Could or should be DONE about a situation.
NOT FELT.

[mugsy]

please re-read the first page of posts.
and read what other people wrote and realize not only were people agreeing but they were sayin the same stuff... and notice how you are not quoting all the nice things i said....
lady, you take things too seriously. my god, yo have a boyfriend whom you says loves you, im not denying that im saying enjoy that. you obviously have many people who care about you, what ive been saying is rejooice in that happiness.
RE-READ THE FIRST PAGE OF POSTS.

[mugsy]

and by the way, allowing me to have my own opinion would be NOT insulting me after my comments.
thank you.

[galaxie]

^ Never once did I say that you were the only one criticising instead of giving advice. However, you were the most persistent in telling me how I should and should not feel, and therefore, I was frustrated because no one has that right.

If you re-read my former posts, you will see that I did thank you for your opinon, even if it did me no good, or I did not agree with what you had to say.

It's a lot easier to say "just go rejoice in that happiness" than it is to actually do it. I am extremely joyous that I have a man in my life that loves and cherishes me, but ATM he happens to be far away, and that is hard for me to deal with, simply because he was a huge part of my daily life considering we practically lived together. What I wanted to know in the first place, were ways to make the sadness fade so I would be able to rejoice in the happiness that I do have, thanks to him.

[galaxie]

Originally posted by mugsy:
and by the way, allowing me to have my own opinion would be NOT insulting me after my comments.
thank you.

If correcting your definition of a couple of words was insulting, I'm sorry. But I wasn't about to be told that I was getting something 'constructive' and 'advice' when I wasn't. Words are defined for a reason, and the reason is communication. You miscommunicated to me because you don't fully understand that advice is supposed to be supportive and suggestive, not forceful.

[MsAttitude]

Is this the Natalie Galaxie who used to work in Richmond Centre at I believe it was Off The Wall?

You look so familiar, and I remember on Xtcity there was a girl named Natalie... she used to work there.

[*KeLLnEsS*]

lol