How do I.....?

[Disco_Whore]

Originally Posted by mapleleaf4ever

If you act like his Mother he'll not be too happy about it. If he's really that unmotivated, just say to him what you've said too us. Tell him he's got to shape up or you're going to ship out.

^You'd be suprised at the ammount of guys that WANT girls to act like their mother.

[kittah]

ok, sorry about that, I had to go out for a bit.

I have talked to him about the situation, that I dont feel that I should have to pay for everything while he doesnt do anything. And, my last job, I had a crappy manager and I quit that job, but I told him that I was fired from it (so happened that three days later I got a different job), and suddenly he was more stressed out about our living situation. However, it didnt give him the motivation to get his ass out the door job hunting.
I have even taken the bitchy approach by critizising how he doesnt go out and do things, whether it be to go job hunting or even to see his friends. I've even had to tell him that on Sunday nights when I work the door at the Press Room that I flirt with guys to get tips. It was more of a ploy to get him to come out so that I can see him when Im working. However, he just freaked out for like 5 minutes and then pretty much forgot about it. (what the fuck?!?!).
This morning my roommate even had to talk to him about the situation, about how he needs to find a job asap or his ass is out the door, as well as threatened that I'd probably end up breaking up with him if this goes on any longer (which is very true. So he has heard it from both me and my best friend).
I am going to Victoria for a month (from sept 13th-oct 13th) for work so I wont be around to finicially support him.... I know this is going to hurt our relationship, especially since I am staying at my friend's place whom he doesnt like (which i think is a trust thing since I've slept with this friend before, but before my bf and i got together). Maybe I should use this as my "trial period" to decide whether or not this is the end???

[miss.myra]

no trial period necessary, dump his ass.

[baby-phat]

Originally Posted by kittah

Maybe I should use this as my "trial period" to decide whether or not this is the end???

Hmm, you know what hun. I think that might be a good idea. It seems to me that he prob is insecure, dunno if he was all along (since I don't know him) or if this is a recent thing. Also, if you going away for a month is going to hurt the relationsip then it's a good idea to re-evaluate. After all this, whatever you decide I can guarantee you'll feel so much better. :)
Check yer karma for my #, I don't remember if I ever gave it to you. And pls call when you're in town. Let's go for coffee or drinks while you're here and before I move.

[ebbomega]

Wait a minute.

You moved to nanaimo, the capital of island B&Es, because you got robbed?

Hahaha.

[fritz]

If he's a nice guy, just move out or make him live somewhere else. If you don't see him as a good investment financially (and it doesn't sound like you do), then cut him off. You can still go on dates and hang out if you want, but don't sacrifice your own future if it's not reciprocal. Make sure you explain exactly what you're doing. Give time frames. Explain why you need the money for yourself. Think about what you're going to say, before you say it.

This will force him to either a) be motivated to pay you back for all your support or b) move on to be supported by someone new (family, govt, new gf)

If you guys still care for each other, it might be better to do this before it ends badly. It would be much more painful to evict him than to ask him to leave.