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May 28, 06
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and he fucken does it again.
last night me and my dad were all bonding and happy and talking to each other and stuff, after so long. click. and this morning, i got up to help him with something to do with his computer, and he asked me some questions and i answered them normally, with no negative tone, actually with a positive tone, cuz i was so glad that we were getting along after so long. and then he says it, "why do you always act like everything i say is a pain for you" and i was fucken stunned, and he was serious, and being mean AGAIN. and im like.., fuck it, i aint helping with shit, and i left. and were back where we started again, and not talking to each other.
FOR no fucken reason. i hate it, i would have loved to help him, i was totally in the mood to help him, and with those words i did a complete 180 and i said fuck it. if he dosent appreciate that i was willing to help then fuck it. for no reason at all. i was agreeing with everythign he wanted me to do. fuck all i want is to know why the fuck he said that, i had no negative tone, i was happy, and willing to help. WHY? 
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May 28, 06
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dads are crazy like that. thats why im moving out next weekend.
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May 28, 06
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/parents
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May 28, 06
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^i think the point was more that you have parents that care for you, even if they are moody sometimes. everyone is moody once and awhile. maybe talk to your dad and let him know how you feel instead of fuming about it on the internet to a bunch of strangers (mainly).
family can be fucked up. i know. my family has many many issues. but sarah is right when she says that we have to be thankful that we HAVE family. as douglas coupland put it: all families are psychotic.
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May 28, 06
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this must be what its like to live in the ghetto. . .. ..
suck it up, suzie
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May 28, 06
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Quote:
Family is very important to many people and having a bad relationship or a very on and off one can be very upsetting. Especially after finally having a good day witch he was so happy about then it goes back to how it was Id be upset myself to, i dont see it as whiny i see it as frustrated. Maybe try talking it out with your Dad tyell him it upsets you, or is he the type that would shrug it off?
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May 28, 06
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Perhaps if you understood on his end, it takes a lot of pride to get his son to help him and to admit he needs help, even if it seems like a little computer thing, he's probably realizing he's aging and soon enough and more and more times he will come to rely on you and that hurts. Maybe HE feels like a burden on you.
Yeah it doesn't make sense, but maybe that's why. Maybe if you understood why you'd stop trying to play the victim. A lot of people's fathers do worse shit to them out of nowhere.
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May 28, 06
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Guys are stubborn man! Haha we fight for what we think is right and were not willing to beleive what other people say!!! And even when we know were wrong for some reason well still fight for whats right!!! hahahaha meh I guess were just wired like that............
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May 28, 06
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my advice to you:
buy some pretty stationary paper with matching envelopes. write your dad a "fuck you" note.see example: Dear dad, FUCK YOU! Love:(insert name here) thats what I do for my dad. I write him fuck you notes all the time!The best part is that my dad gets all stoked...and he`ll look all over for his reading glasses.Then when he finally finds them hes all anxious...and then he reads it...and then the look on his face is priceless! Luckily my dad laughs about it.Maybe your dad will too.:)
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May 29, 06
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You just need to communicate back with him.
So what if he asked you why you seemed like it was a pain. Myra's point of view is mark on. It's hard for a father to admit to his son he needs help because it is a sign of aging. No use getting offended over something so minor. All you have to do is say "i don't know where you got that idea, maybe i'm just tired and appeared that way." Something along those lines. Running away just complicates it and he is all wondering what is wrong when you do that. You don't want to keep compounding the problem. It's not a huge issue, just minor contention between people. These types of problems between friends and family are things you need to look past and overcome many times in a die. It's mediation, being rational. When you overanalyze peoples responses you end up becoming this huge headcase. Sometimes people are in bad moods and even though they know you they might just keep walking on the street. Sometimes people are thinking about the stresses of work and school and come off as not liking you. How are you to know unless take that point of view as well or reach out and communicate. Some have parents they can't even talk to anymore, some have parents who are so old it seems impossible to bridge that age barrier, some have parents who beat them or emotionally abuse them. Everyone has varying levels of stress in their family, so just be grateful you have your parents together and that only minor miscommunications are your problem. You need to step up to the plate, take the mature roll and take care of these small problems. Last edited by decypher; May 29, 06 at 04:14 AM.
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May 29, 06
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I want a truck :(
With my parents, there has never really been open lines of communication or any sort of understanding... ever. The way I see it is that they provide me with a place to live, and yes, they do somtimes buy me stuff. Does this make up for the grossly disfunctional relationship we have. Of course not. But I know better than to think that we will ever fully get along. When they piss me off. I just dont let it bother me. I go out. Or i goto my room. I do ANYTHING but let them have their argument that they so desperatly want. The only time I will ever let them get to me is when they try emotional blackmail bullshit. You can only do your best. No more no less. It looks like you are genuinely trying to have a relationship with your father, and that it has been discouraging at times. If you want it bad enough and are patient, I'm sure things will work out. Good Luck dude!
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May 30, 06
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Nabs, id probably keep these kind of issues off this board. If you need to talk to someone about dad issues then call up a friend or significant other, or somebody in your mosque and if all these resources are unavailable, gimme a ring. For every one piece of serious advice you are going to get on this board ten more idiots are going to buzz in with reactionary, apathetic bullshit.
I know you are not whining, but i think you could benefit from some introspection as well. The relationships between a father and son are never easy, even as you get older. I spent my first 16 years getting shit kicked by my dad, and the next ten being looked down on. But neither of us ever quit on eachother, and my father made his amends, and i chose to forgive. Happy ending? Perhaps. We will never have the sitcom relationship, but i tell you, after 26 years of fucked upness, one of the greatest things that has happened to me, is the relationship I now have with my father. Often with men, comes ego and ineffective stubborness. The ego is singularely one the biggest roadblocks to sincere, honest closeness. Give it some time. Take a leap of faith, and employ some more patience and persistance in your life. pc.ez shak
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