long distance relationships

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by Courtney

draw backs= no cuddle buddy for 2 whole months!

by the way guys in total it has been way longer than 2 months its just getting sooner to the date now, thats all

Yeah, here your options are limited
- kill it for now, find a temp cuddle buddy to alleviate needs in the meanwhile
- hold off another two months.

Drawbacks are fairly obvious. If you go with the former, what if you start developing feelings, leave town and then other-buddy starts laying the mack and you're still hurting for cuddle-buddy-dude. The latter, you don't get a cuddle buddy for a couple months.

I say go with the latter. I'm not always one for abstinence education but maybe you should go without sex for a lil while and clear your head. Do one of those 40 days & nights cleanses except make it 75 or whatever. Give yourself a goal to work towards. Then if you get there and buddy's moved on, I'd be willing to bet you'd have the confidence to bag a guy in no time.

[Courtney]

^ I'll send you our wedding pictures :)

[miss.myra]

Originally Posted by Courtney

draw backs= no cuddle buddy for 2 whole months!

by the way guys in total it has been way longer than 2 months its just getting sooner to the date now, thats all

girl, look on the bright side, at least you have this to look forward to! let that keep you going. :)

some of us aren't that lucky. even if marty thinks we're hot :( haha

[Carrie]

I enjoy being single, but I miss cuddles

[Courtney]

that was meant for jim

[ppcock]

Oh come on! Cut me some freakin slack here!

You can't expect to put something on a message board and have all responses to agree with the answer you're looking for.

Yeah, i make stupid posts about relationships.. and you guys jump on me like a pack of wild dogs. I don't complain or cry about it. More often than not, I completely ignore your replies.
But there are some people, like the previous topic I made. I Actually listened to Kat's advice and asked her about it. After some begging, she spit it out.

Now when i come on here being brutally honest, you guys jump on me for it too. And it's not like i've had 1 or 2 friends in similar situations, I've had maaaaaaaaaaany!

The possibility of working it out is very minor.. hell, if it does. I'll be more suprised than a hobo finding a $20.00 bill on the ground.

So good luck to you, but more often than not.. and god, i really don't want to say it because if shit happens, I'm going to nail the I told you so card.. but obviously to avoid me being right, a post will never come out like that.... hopefully it works out for you and you're not a total mess if it doesnt.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by Courtney

that was meant for jim

=( and here I was hoping for wedding pictures of someone I may have possibly met once while drunk but really don't recall being introduced to.

[Carrie]

^ i met courtney when i was drunk

[ppcock]

Jim is right... and god, i think this is one of the only times he'll ever agree with me.

I only say it because if it doesnt work out.. then you've just had one more bad expiriences with relationships. But in the end, it could've been easily avoided.
Get hurt after 2 months rather than get hurt after 2 years...

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by ppcock

Oh come on! Cut me some freakin slack here!

You can't expect to put something on a message board and have all responses to agree with the answer you're looking for.

Um, likewise.

You can't expect to post about your relationship gripes, and then rag on someone else's similar gripes and not expect to be called out for it.

For the record, my most recent long distance relationship was less than a year ago, with someone I lived with for a year and a half. Not exactly "high school" if you ask me. It didn't work but I wouldn't say it was a complete waste of time.

[Courtney]

Originally Posted by Carrie

^ i met courtney when i was drunk

most people do

[stringbeans]

Originally Posted by Courtney

draw backs= no cuddle buddy for 2 whole months!

will this change if you dont do the LD?

[Courtney]

^yes, i am a girl it is very easy to obtain cuddle buddies!

[cubed]

Originally Posted by ppcock

Jim is right... and god, i think this is one of the only times he'll ever agree with me.

I only say it because if it doesnt work out.. then you've just had one more bad expiriences with relationships. But in the end, it could've been easily avoided.
Get hurt after 2 months rather than get hurt after 2 years...

I'm not agreeing with you though.

I'm saying it most likely won't work out, but I'm not telling her to turn and run.

[Courtney]

^ IT WILL WORK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (at least for a few months ha)

[ppcock]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

For the record, my most recent long distance relationship was less than a year ago, with someone I lived with for a year and a half. Not exactly "high school" if you ask me. It didn't work but I wouldn't say it was a complete waste of time.

It's in there! I mentioned that more often than not, in this case it wasnt all bad.

It's hard to find someone worth settling down with... fuck, its even harder finding that RIGHT someone to have a long permanent life with and I have a feeling, it's just going to get worse.

more and more, day by day, it just becomes harder... even with my confidence levels at an all time high.. i'm pretty sure it'll be impossible to find the right one. I just don't think she exsists. But in no way am I going to close my heart out.
But I wont be eagerly finding her.

[cubed]

Originally Posted by Courtney

^ IT WILL WORK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (at least for a few months ha)

Hope it does for you Courts.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by ppcock

It's in there! I mentioned that more often than not, in this case it wasnt all bad.

It's hard to find someone worth settling down with... fuck, its even harder finding that RIGHT someone to have a long permanent life with and I have a feeling, it's just going to get worse.

more and more, day by day, it just becomes harder... even with my confidence levels at an all time high.. i'm pretty sure it'll be impossible to find the right one. I just don't think she exsists. But in no way am I going to close my heart out.
But I wont be eagerly finding her.

Uh, anybody else having trouble translating from Marty to English here?

[ppcock]

Originally Posted by Courtney

^ IT WILL WORK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (at least for a few months ha)

Now, i'm going to say this.. it is the internet so it very well could be sarcasm... but there might be some negativity

with that response, it looks like you have little faith in the situation itself.
So what was the point of starting the post in the first place?

[ppcock]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

Uh, anybody else having trouble translating from Marty to English here?

Love is stupid, people are fucking retarded when it comes to relationships.

that's basically what I was saying.


(but i totally jumped off topic there :P)

1) download Skype
2) Take it one step at a time and be realistic, always be pre-pared for the worst
3) Dont ever sacrifice career, school, or make life changes for the other person
4) Express your selfs more emotionally/verbally to make up for physical contact
5) Put it into perspective, how long can you survive "single" or with out a physical partner? You should be able to wait that long for the other person.

***There should be a plan that one of you WILL move long term/permanently and that the long distance part is only temp. Otherwise I have no idea how else it would work.

[stabmyhead]

A lot of people have already provided very valid points. I couldn't do the whole long distance relationship thing personally, but I think there are a few key points you have to discuss with the person:

- Open relationship vs Dating each other exclusively:
Obviously it'd be easier to have an open relationship in a LDR, but then would it really be a relationship, or more so a "hey, you're in town, let's fuck if I'm not fucking my other bf/gfs"

- How long are you guys going to be LDR?
I know some people that have been in a LDR for over 10 years, but sooner or later you're kinda wondering where is this going to go. Luckily for you, it's only going to be a few months but having a LDR for a long time can be exhausting on the relationship

- What are the benefits of a LDR?
You have more time alone to focus on career/self/school/etc. The time you do spend together will be "special" and you'll probably try not to fight with one another.

The list can go on forever, but I think the most important things are to have trust, understanding, communication, clarity AND OF COURSE LOVE.

[mojo]

Originally Posted by R Wellbelove

1) download Skype
2) Take it one step at a time and be realistic, always be pre-pared for the worst
3) Dont ever sacrifice career, school, or make life changes for the other person
4) Express your selfs more emotionally/verbally to make up for physical contact
5) Put it into perspective, how long can you survive "single" or with out a physical partner? You should be able to wait that long for the other person.

***There should be a plan that one of you will move long term/permanently and that the long distance part is only temp. Otherwise I have no idea how else it would work.

Dang, you have it nailed down Rhia. Skype is my best friend these days, while my gf is doing her thing in L.A.

I think the important thing is your willingness to do it. If you would rather be Xamount of kilometers from the one you love then be without them or alone, then you have the answer. When this begins to change you need to re-evaluate your relationship and see what is best for you.

Ya, you spoke about it very well, kudos.

[baby-phat]

Originally Posted by ppcock

The only way a long distance relationship will ever work is if the guy is fucking retarded, fat, ugly, has reallllllllllllllll low self esteem or lives under a rock.

They're pointless, you've got issues if you can't find someone local.

pfft... I call bullshit on both those comments. =P

[Courtney]

Originally Posted by R Wellbelove

1) download Skype
2) Take it one step at a time and be realistic, always be pre-pared for the worst
3) Dont ever sacrifice career, school, or make life changes for the other person
4) Express your selfs more emotionally/verbally to make up for physical contact
5) Put it into perspective, how long can you survive "single" or with out a physical partner? You should be able to wait that long for the other person.

***There should be a plan that one of you will move long term/permanently and that the long distance part is only temp. Otherwise I have no idea how else it would work.

you must be in one