contradiction:

[BrownThug]

i dont really liek beign alone all thatm uch...unless im really stressed out...actualyl no, i like being around people...its always bettrer...:sixpak:

[cyclic]

"eah totally, but I think 99.9% of the time my barrier is caused by my own pride/stubborness. "

yeah i can see that, its hard to admit . but yeah .. i have noticed a change in my attitude lately though :P

[galaxie]

Originally Posted by BoBBy_T

^^ if you read mine and then yours, it makes me seem like a selfish ass.

I'm not gonna argue about the ass part tho.

haha!
No Brian, I don't think it makes you sound like a selfish ass at all. The difference is our priorities - I can honestly say that when I have been single, my life has been all about me, and what I want. But when I found that special person, my life became about US, and about OUR life, and about what WE want. Conveniently, both of us want the same things out of life, so it works. I've been in relationships before where we didn't want the same things, and therefore, those relationships didn't work out.

Like I said before, it's all about finding someone who "works" with you.

[G-Style]

Ok, Well yeah I can relate to this like you wouldn't believe. It's tough, really tough! I so long for a person as everyone on here proberly already knows but at the same time I'm so focused on work and my goals for the future that I don't really take the time to go out and search for that person. My biggest problem over the years has been the fact that with my job I have very little time for social interaction. Which is very demanding on a g/f. I can't expect a girl to be happy with a part time b/f which is all I'm capable of delivering at this time in my life. I so want that to change in the future but for now I'm in a building phase of my career and future right now and I know it's just one of those things I have to do! It's alonely life right now but hopefully I'll be better off in the end. Who knows? I just have to maintain one step ahead of the depression and i'll be fine...lol

[G-Style]

Way to close to home...sorry back to being a prick!

[Wood]

my alone time has always been very important to me, and it's proven to be a major source of discontent in relationships previous to my current one... i've been lucky enough for the past 2 yrs to be with someone who is respectful & understanding of that need, even though it's not a characteristic that she shares with me. Anyways, i can understand what you're feeling Myra, i often thought that i'd never be able to maintain a healthy relationship because i value my personal space & independance too much... but after i'd come to terms with that and stopped worrying about it, that's when i finally met someone who fit in so perfectly with the way i live my life. that's beside the point though, because by that point i'd resolved that i could live a happy life with or without a partner, and that if i was meant to be with someone it would happen, and no amount of stressing or worrying about it would bring it any closer.

[sungoo]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Ah, and perhaps it is also an endless pursuit of figuring out what we actually want.

I think most people want everything, everything to be perfect or atleast most of it. That creates complications, too many overlapping problems; although, those who want nothing, and give up wordly needs, are generally happy but live without experiencing so much in their lives. To me it's like Western modern life vs. Eastern Philsophies. Want everything, or want nothing. In the end neither choice is very welcoming, finding that happy medium seems like the kindest path to happiness.

[mugsy]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

It's weird cos I'll be out with people and people just ask me all the time what's wrong because I'm not talking a lot or just kind of staring off into space. I wish they'd believe me when I say 'nothing' because it usually really is nothing.

EXACTLY. its like people constantly expect a happy smiley face, and constant talk, when really that doesnt always happen. and nothing has to be wrong to not be talking or smiling. sometimes i feel like yelling out "your wrong!" but that would be mean, and wrong.....

and myra, your words and definately your compliments mean the world.

[yoko*]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

It also makes it really hard for me to get involved with people because a lot of people take my necessity for needing a lot space the wrong way.


Can y'all relate?

\


I can relate very much. Someitmes I think that I should live as a hermit for the rest of my life. The reality is though that we all need people and meaningful relationships... just each of us at varying degrees..

Never really been the "Best friends" type. You know, the hanging out with that certain somebody every f'n day of your life and needing to know every single detail typa person. People call me "independent", but maybe that's the greatest asset, flaw, insult and compliment all at once. I like having people I can trust and hang out with, but I don't feel comfortable being with them all the time, nor do I like feeling so intimately "responsible" for others lives... that needing to feel attached and dettached both at the same time leads to a lot of distant and somewhat superficial friendships.. and sometimes results in loneliness and exclusion, and yet, at the end of the day you have only to blame yourself and your need for "space"...

[jimungle]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Lately I feel the most conflicting thing ever, and I figure it's going to be tough to feel content until I figure out exactly what I want/need right now.


Ever felt like you're kinda lonely and you'd like someone to be there, maybe that one special person. Or you just want your closest friends and the people that make you happiest to be around more.

But at the same time you feel like you just want to be alone, you want space for yourself to figure things out and to make yourself happy.

It's so weird to crave closeness but feel so easily suffocated by people. I don't think i'll really be at peace until I decide to go with one or the other. It also makes it really hard for me to get involved with people because a lot of people take my necessity for needing a lot space the wrong way.


Can y'all relate?

totally the same sitch myra,. I require mad independance, I need my recharge time and solo mind mode,.

When I first moved in with my roomate she though I hated her, I actually had to lay down ground rules like 'i don't want to eat together all the time' and 'when i don't talk to you around the house i'm not mad' ,. Everybody has different needs on the independance side of things

but then I also think that making connections with people is one of the only few purposes we have on this earth, and I'm vEry social and respect more than anything else in my life the close bonds with peeps i've been lucky to form,.

I'm thinking the same direction as you, if the right person comes along, they come along, but when you don't NEED another person they come along less frequent for sure,. but its good to hear other people are in the same boat :)

[miss.myra]

haha that's funny.

A ton of people I've gotten to know over the years always tell me they thought I totally hated their guts when I first met them.

It just takes me awhile to warm up, and until then I can be kinda distant. I'm also pretty blunt and sarcastic, which is easy to take the wrong way too....haha

[Bobby_T]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

haha that's funny.

A ton of people I've gotten to know over the years always tell me they thought I totally hated their guts when I first met them.

It just takes me awhile to warm up, and until then I can be kinda distant. I'm also pretty blunt and sarcastic, which is easy to take the wrong way too....haha

Same here. Case in point: Sean!

I gave him one of my sub-conscious "looks" and he thought i wanted to kill him.

He thought that for almost a year ahah.