Taking his last name

[Courtney]

If i like his last name better than mine, i'll take it. If it's an ugly last name i'll keep my own.

[veN]

I think it would really depend. You can't say it should be one way or another.

For me personally, my man's last name could easily be added or replace mine as it is one syllable (as is mine, which fits well with three syllable first names), sounds good with my first name, and is less common than my last own name.

[soma]

Originally Posted by Nev

I think it would really depend. You can't say it should be one way or another.

For me personally, my man's last name could easily be added or replace mine as it is one syllable (as is mine, which fits well with three syllable first names), sounds good with my first name, and is less common than my last own name.

lol aww nev you were born with such a unique name I can see where you are coming from. Maybe if you met a mr. cincinnati or cleveland you may decide to take his name. ;)


personally I could be understanding if my wife wanted to keep her name but I could help but question why... i would honestly feel better it we both changed our names so they were the same than not have her take mine.

[Jingles]

Taking last names is all about transfer of 'ownership' when a father would give his daughter she would take the husbands name and give up her father's.
We've come past that and it's done out of tradition now, but make no mistake - it's still very symbollic
If having a common last name is what counts 'for the kids' then come up with a brand NEW last name at marriage and both of you give up what you were born with
I think it's bullshit that women are expected to drop their name to show they are a part of a union. If it's unity that is the goal a new last name for all involved makes sense to me. We have a long way to go on this matter ...remember all the hoopla when Hilary Clinton hyphenated?

[Mista Fitz]

Originally Posted by jingles

I think it's bullshit that women are expected to drop their name to show they are a part of a union.

It seems to me that this is the sole reason most women don't want to take a name anymore "it's expected, it's bullshit, equal rights etc. etc."

I think it would be a huge, huge gesture for a lady to take my name.. I can understand how significant that is. I am of the mind that it would likely be one of those romantic heart stopping moments to realize that someone would be so committed that they would take my name.

...but in reality, it looks like we would keep our own names, hyphenate, or come up with something original that we can share - just so we can STICK IT TO THE MAN, MAN. Romance is dead folks. I will endeavor to embrace my new-agey lifestyle.

[Vitamin-X]

For me she would have to take my name (non negotiable)

If your girl won't even take your name just imagine how much fun
the rest of the Marriage would be.
*needs a team player*

[C_squared]

do it for teh children!

[prozac]

^That is so dumb. My parents have always had different last names and it never bothered me.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by Vitamin-X

For me she would have to take my name (non negotiable)

If your girl won't even take your name just imagine how much fun
the rest of the Marriage would be.
*needs a team player*

"What's in a name?"
- Shakespeare.

My parents have been happily married for 31 years and my Mum never changed her name.

Just because a woman has respect for her origins doesn't mean she's not a team player.

[C_squared]

Originally Posted by prozac

^That is so dumb. My parents have always had different last names and it never bothered me.

call me old fashioned then.

[Ree Fresh]

Originally Posted by Jingles

Taking last names is all about transfer of 'ownership' when a father would give his daughter she would take the husbands name and give up her father's.
We've come past that and it's done out of tradition now, but make no mistake - it's still very symbollic
If having a common last name is what counts 'for the kids' then come up with a brand NEW last name at marriage and both of you give up what you were born with
I think it's bullshit that women are expected to drop their name to show they are a part of a union. If it's unity that is the goal a new last name for all involved makes sense to me. We have a long way to go on this matter ...remember all the hoopla when Hilary Clinton hyphenated?

The whole owner ship thing is what really bothers me and I wouldn't marry the guy if he was that 'offended' by my wish. As if im not offended that I have to give up my name. Although it is flattering.
Anyways statistics now show that more ppl are divorced than married, why all the hassle and confusion of name change?

[Grapes]

My cousin was born to my mom's sister and a guy who subsequently up and left.

When my aunt remarried, it was to a Japanese guy with the last name "Kojima". They're still together to this day.. not only did my aunt take the last name Kojima... so did my cousin.

Now my cousin is married with two kids. They're all white as can be, and as far as I know they all have the last name Kojima.

Adopting of last names can be a strange deal...

[robyn]

man i can't wait to fall in love with a guy who's so insecure he won't trust me unless i abritrarily change the name i've had my entire life

[Grapes]

Miss you Robyn!

Too bad I moved so far away :(

[Jingles]

Originally Posted by C_squared

do it for teh children!

What if you don't plan on having kids?

[C_squared]

don't ask me then.

i plan to have kids someday. i would also expect my lady to take my last name. i would be offended if she didn't.

[Kraig]

I better be invited to the wedding.

Originally Posted by Kraig

I better be invited to the wedding.

You know that hitting on the bride is considered faux pas, right? :p

[Kraig]

^^ Hmmmm this is true. Perhaps I'll crash the stagette aka. HER LAST NIGHT OF FREEDOM.

[Mista Fitz]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

Just because a woman has respect for her origins doesn't mean she's not a team player.

Good point. There are far more important and complicated things to consider in marriage other than what your last name will/will not be.


On entrance to wedding reception: "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Mr. & Mrs. Respective Last Names!"

[Cdn_Brdr]

There's only one thing that I disagree with and funny enough I actually heard the other day on the radio that the odds of this happening are dropping SIGNIFICANTLY!

HYPHENATING

According to this little tidbit on the radio the instances of hyphenating are drastically dropping because of the fact that it's getting out of hand. Basically what they were saying is that in a few more years we're gonna have people out there with ludicrous 3 or 4 name hyphenations. Mom hyphenates and the kids name is name-name.... then kids marries and hyphenates (name-name-name) AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT THIS CAN TURN OUT REALLY KIND OF RIDICULOUS!?!?!?!

[Vitamin-X]

Perhaps married couples should keep there own places.
After all why should anyone have to give up their pad just because they're getting married. Lex2 hehe



-Personally I've always felt Hyphenating was kind of pretentious.

Probably not a huge problem overall.
When feminists and hippiess marry they can keep their own names.
Traditionalists can do otherwise.

[cubed]

ABORTIONS FOR SOME! TINY AMERICAN FLAGS FOR OTHERS!

[Ashley*Dawn]

Originally Posted by Veni*C

id keep mine.. its cause its my moms last name and i am the only one left really with her last name.. so ya... i guess its just a personal thing...

I'm keeping my last name sorta for the same reason, I still want there to be Ackerman's, but my dad had 2 girls, and my uncle had 2 girls. No boys to carry on the name on our end. I'll hyphen it and give my kid's the Ackerman-(insert name here). I love my family and want that to stay with me forever even when I've made my own family.

Originally Posted by C_squared

don't ask me then.

i plan to have kids someday. i would also expect my lady to take my last name. i would be offended if she didn't.

I think that's crap.
Why don't you take your wifes name?. If your girlfriend didn't want to take your last name would you still marry her?, or would that make you think about it more.
I think the expectation to take the man's name is still all about him feeling like he's got all the power. If you want to take it go for it. If you want yours and his great, if you just keep your's who freaking cares. Love doesn't worry about a name.

[cheeseburger]

hahahhahahaha