When do you want to settle down?

Originally Posted by diva

I happen to think that children are the most precious little beings ever.

So it's very different when a child comes into your life by way of an accidental pregnancy. In that case, you try your very best to provide the best life for said little person. You can only do your best, and in Ragga's case it seems like she's doing her best.

I just don't understand why someone would plan to have a child when they know that they can't give them the very best. I don't think any early childhood researcher can say that placing a 6 mo. - 1 yr. old in daycare for 6-12 hours a day is doing what's best for that child.

That's my opinion, though. I know myself and I know that if I had a baby in daycare I'd feel like puking all day long. I'd be terrified, probably cry more than the baby would, and end up hating myself. That's what happens when I leave my kitties home alone for more than two days at a time. I have no reason to believe that I would react any differently with a baby. =*(

so for every pregnancy that a woman has that isnt planned for - she shouldnt have that baby. abortion maybe?

i am fully a believer in wedding first, babies later - for me there is no other way. but i can respect a woman that steps up and takes responsibility for her actions. if you are adult enough to do it, you are adult enough to deal with the outcome. if that baby spends its first years in daycare cause the parent is trying for a better life, then so be it. kudos to the parent that can do that.

[tiedye]

Man, we used to raise children in the wild. I'm pretty sure a single mother could hack raising her kid in urban society.

[prozac]

No kids in my future vision.

I really do want to get married though. Like pretty much anytime now. I'm ready as soon that person comes along and our partnership is developed enough to take that step.

[tiedye]

Jess, if you marry the cop, do you think he'd take me for a ride-along and let me play with the sirens?

[prozac]

Not just anybody can go on a ridealong :( I already asked.

[diva]

Originally Posted by Avana

so for every pregnancy that a woman has that isnt planned for - she shouldnt have that baby. abortion maybe?

i am fully a believer in wedding first, babies later - for me there is no other way. but i can respect a woman that steps up and takes responsibility for her actions. if you are adult enough to do it, you are adult enough to deal with the outcome. if that baby spends its first years in daycare cause the parent is trying for a better life, then so be it. kudos to the parent that can do that.

Hello, Avana. Do I have to go back and bold every plan I used? I know that your first reaction is to criticize, but if you go back and actually read what I wrote, you'd see that I wasn't talking about unplanned pregnancies. I was talking about ones that were planned. Jeez...

This discussion is about planned pregnancies.

[diva]

Originally Posted by Ragga_Wh0re

I did and it translated into this "bla bla bla I dont know wtf im talking about bla bla atomic family bla bla bla."

And yeah, it is hard leaving your child at daycare but its even harder staying home with a child that isnt getting the social ineraction that they constantly need. To stay home with a child is equal to working a full time job. Even if I had the option to stay home, I wouldnt.I like to work, I like to converse with adults, I like to be an adult!Work is basically my only interaction with adults, aside from that its snot face the terrorist thats declared a jihad on my home.Which is great...in moderation.For me atleast.

Its not easy being a stay at home mom either, not easy on mom and not easy on the kiddos. Look after snot face,clean the house,cook,social outings/playgroups and then somehow have time for yourself too?Doest work out too well all the time.Kids demand a lot of attention from as many people they can get it from. If theres only a few people providing that attention theyre bound to get burnt out sooner then later then the wee ones going to go on a rampage. Thats unfair to the parents/attention providers and thats unfair to the children.

Thats why daycares are good, although a tough decision and sometimes a scary one...but necessary.Which brings me to my point, planned/unplanned is irrelevant really. Your basing your opinions off idealitys and emotion. Wake up from dreamland now because God forbid if you were ever to be thrown a "curve ball" youll have one hell of a fall back down to earth!

1. I don't know what i'm taking about, I only have an opinion.

2. I was taking about very young children. BABIES.

3. I didn't say anything about women having to stay at home exclusively. I wouldn't want to do that either.

4. I didn't say daycares were bad places. I just dont think BABIES (under 18 mo.) should be in them. I don't think you can argue that a BABY is better off in a daycare.

5. Who's talking about curve balls? Planning to have a child isn't a curve ball. It's a conscious decision.

I haven't said anything negative about your parenting skills. Since I wasn't talking about unplanned pregnancies, I don't know why you're taking this personally...

[MissBehavior]

I always thought I'd be married and popping a kid out by 28.

Well, that's 3 months away now and I don't see any of the above happening in the next 15 months.

Plans change. I'm kinda glad that I realized that getting married to the person I thought I would wasn't going to work out. I'm not a believer in divorce. Maybe it's because I've born witness to my parents' relationship surviving things I never thought it would. Regardless, I want to be SURE, because the last thing I want is to have kids caught in the middle of their parents' fuck up.

[tiedye]

Originally Posted by prozac

Not just anybody can go on a ridealong :( I already asked.

Now I know how a sad clown must feel.

[Prissypants]

If I could find a perfect match of emotional and mental closeness with sexual chemistry I'd settle down today... :)

I haven't found that yet though... I tend to get either emotional and mental closeness but the person is not as open sexually as I like or they are fairly open sexually but a complete waste of time emotionally and/or mentally...

On a side note: I value emotional and mental closeness far more than the sexual chemistry but for me to really stop looking they definitely need both...

[ppcock]

When esi uses "cunt" you know shit is hitting the fan

[baby-phat]

Originally Posted by MissBehavior

I always thought I'd be married and popping a kid out by 28.

haha.. yeah, me too. But here I am at 29, just living my life, enjoying my relationship and taking everything a day at a time, with no 'plans' for the future aside from starting my career and traveling. And honestly, I couldn't be happier. :)

[Disco_Whore]

Originally Posted by diva

I don't think one year olds should be in daycare. They're still babies. That's just my opinion, though.

I disagree. I worked in a daycare, and found that the earlier children were brought in the better. People who wait until a child is 3 to bring to a daycare has MAJOR separation anxiety issues and will scream and cry practically ALL DAY because they are away from mommy. Whereas infants tend to adjust much quicker to the new setting. I also think it's very important for children to learn how to interact with each other very early too, especially if an only child. Children need to be socialized.

That being said though, I don't think anyone who had an infant brought them in for the whole day or every day, nor do I think I would. So I see your point too.

[rawb]

I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE NEED TO OWN UP TO THE FACT THAT THEY ARE COMPLETELY UNLOVABLE AND WILL DIE ALONE, WITHOUT ANYONE TO REMEMBER THEM l

[Erin]

Originally Posted by rawb

I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE NEED TO OWN UP TO THE FACT THAT THEY ARE COMPLETELY UNLOVABLE AND WILL DIE ALONE, WITHOUT ANYONE TO REMEMBER THEM l

Examples?

[Pussy*Kat]

^^ :(

[Disco_Whore]

Just cause you're married it doesn't mean you won't die alone.

[ppcock]

unless you're married to your siam... err conjoined twin.

[jax0r]

Originally Posted by rawb

OH MAN A BITCH AND HER HORMONES CAN FUCK UP YOUR CHRISTMAS l

LOfuckingL

[rawb]

Originally Posted by Disco_Whore

Just cause you're married it doesn't mean you won't die alone.

REDUNDANT WIVES IN A RAID 6, OBV

[rawb]

Doc: Mr Rawb, I'm sorry, Cinnamon has passed away
ME: AWW FUCK THAT WAS MY PARTY WIFE

D :

[mojo]

BA-> global adventure-> MA-> career foundation-> companion-> kids-> profit
28----------------------------------------------------------> 35/37

[Courtney]

^I bet you your wife won't be that age

[Courtney]

guys get extra years
BOO HISS

[rawb]

LOTS OF PEOPLE THINK THEY'RE GOING TO BE PULLING SHORTY'S OUT OF A HAT AT 32-35 WHEN THEY ALL WORN IN AND DILAPIDATED AND THE OLDEST PEOPLE IN THE BAR l