your favorite quotes,one-liners from T.V or Movies.

[XxJennaxX]

" Who wants a mustache ride!??!"

"I DO I DO!!"

[Grapes]

Originally Posted by cubed

Soap: I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid.
Tom: You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles.

I somehow missed this the the 8 times I watched LS&TSBs

Gold

[Grapes]

From "No Country for Old Men"

Wendell: It's a mess, ain't it Sheriff?

Bell: If it ain't, it'll do til the mess gets here.

[thebobman]

I'm shocked this one hasn't made it in here yet:

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold..."
-Hunter S. Thompson in Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas

[impure]

"don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out"

[Pennywise]

knocked up?^

[Grapes]

^ Speaking of Knocked Up

Paul Rudd: ... Just don't ask me to lend you any money.
Seth Rogen: ..... Can I just have some?
Paul Rudd: No.

[Grapes]

Man IMDB has a ton of great quotes from knocked up:

***
Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.

Ben Stone: Pregnant... with emotion?

Alison Scott: Pregnant with a baby.
***

Jack: ...there's gonna be some things that you are going to be able to get, that other people in the office don't get... one of them: Gym membership.

Alison Scott: You want me to lose weight?

Jack: [laughing] No, I don't want you to lose weight!

Jill: No, uh, we can't legally ask you to do that.

Jack: We didn't say lose weight... I might say tighten.

Alison Scott: Tight?

Jack: Tighter.

Jill: Just liked toned and smaller.

Jack: Don't make everything smaller, I don't wanna generalize that way... tighter.

Jill: We don't want you to lose weight, we just want you to be healthy. Y'know, by eating less.

Alison Scott: OK.

Jill: We would just like it if you go home and step on the scale, and write down how much you weigh, and subtract it by like, 20.

Alison Scott: 20.

Jill: And then weigh that much.

***

Ben Stone: You know, the best thing for a hangover is weed. Do you smoke weed?

Alison Scott: Not really.

Ben Stone: You don't?

Alison Scott: No.

Ben Stone: At all?

Alison Scott: Uh-uh.

Ben Stone: Like... in the morning?

Alison Scott: No... I just... don't.

Ben Stone: It is, like, the best medicin. 'Cause it fixes everything. Jonah broke his elbow once. We just... got high and... it still clicks but, I mean, he's ok.

***

Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.

Jason: I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.

Ben Stone: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.

Jason: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.

[thebobman]

The uncut abortion debate from Knocked Up contains some real gems:

Jay: "Semen, its like in Dune; y'know, the spice Melange? The spice extends life - semen extends life"
Jonah: "Can we fuckin' abort Jay!? Can we just abort Jay? Is that possible?! Anybody who references Dune should be aborted!"

[Grapes]

^ Loooooool!

[robyn]

OH MY GOD WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale. oh the burning! it burns me! evacuate the school children!

[tiedye]

Marcus: I rebuke the spirit of drugs in the name of Jesus. What's his name?
Drummer: I.B. Bangin'.
Marcus: What you mean I.B. Bangin'?
Drummer: I.B. Bangin'!
Marcus: What the hell kind of name is I.B. Bangin'?
Drummer: I don't know his real name.
I.B.'s Girlfriend: It's Frederick Smith.
Marcus: Okay, Freddy...
I.B.'s Girlfriend: It's Frederick.
Marcus: Okay, I.B. Bangin', we're gonna bring you back from the dead.

[tiedye]

Griss: Griss cannot abide the funk tonight.

[tiedye]

Randall: Look, do you want to be leader of this gang?
Strutter: No, we agreed: No leader!
Randall: Right. So shut up and do as I say.

[impure]

Originally Posted by Pennywise

knocked up?^

yep.

Grapes, you left out some pretty funny stuff earlier in the scene when allison gets her promotion.

INT. JACK’S OFFICE, E! ENTERTAINMENT - DAY
Allison’s boss, JACK, early forties, is at his desk. Alison and
Jill sit in the office.
JACK
Thanks for coming in, Alison. Well, we
wanted to talk to you today because we
had a little debate on the conference
call with New York about you.
ALISON
You were talking about me?
JACK
We were wondering aloud to one another
whether or not you would be good for
on-camera.
ALISON
What’d you decide?
JILL
They decided that they like you. And
they would like to put you on camera.
ALISON
Really?
JILL
I know. I was so surprised, too.
ALISON
Oh, my God. This is the best news
ever. Thank you so much. This is
great!
JACK
Congratulations.
ALISON
Thank you.
JACK
I’ll take that smile as a “Yes, I’ll
do it.”
ALISON
Absolutely. I’m so excited. Oh, my
God.
JILL
It’s a lot of work. Can’t wait to see
what happens. It’s going to be tough.
Tough job.

[ash1ee]

'Thanks for the lift, Deeds.'


'Thats not Yankee dancin! That's Devil Ray dancin.' (as well as...'The Red Sox, sex and breathing')

[zarlon]

i bet someone already said this since we're 60 something posts in... but

"if i can't smoke or swear... i'm fucked"

-ricky

it's legendary!

[Grapes]

Originally Posted by robyn

OH MY GOD WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale. oh the burning! it burns me! evacuate the school children!

I love that you got a pic for that.

Tobias: Michael... I blue myself.

Michael: ... There's gotta be a better way to say that.

[ash1ee]

...And bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me.

[Revolver]

another one of my favorite moments in cinema, when the devil(pacino) gose off about god and man...its brilliant..just fucking brilliant pacino.

Kevin Lomax: "Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven", is that it?
John Milton: Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him. In spite of all his imperfections, I'm a fan of man! I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist.

^esp the IM A FAN OF MAN!!!...bit

this one is funny awsome too,



^its the final....FIG LEAF lols!!!!!

[ash1ee]

Lisa needs braces?
DENTAL PLAN.

[impure]

lois - "that was nice chris, but your second rotation was a bit sloppy, but what do i know? it's been ages since i qualified for the olympics"
chris - "you were in the olympics!?!"
lois - "no. i got pregnant with meg and had to drop out.....now i'm pro-choice"

[XxJennaxX]

" you dont make friends with salad! You dont make friends with salad!"
Homer

[impure]

chris griffin on the phone
chris - "whato are you weaaaring?"
inaudible reply
chris - "i bet you can see right through that"
lois walks in and asks:
"chris, who are you talking to?"
he replies
"gramma"

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by zarlon

i bet someone already said this since we're 60 something posts in... but

"if i can't smoke or swear... i'm fucked"

-ricky

it's legendary!

I prefer:

"I mean sure, I'm fucking hungover, I'm burnt out, but that's what being a good Dad is all about."